Message-ID: 

An IWS Press Release

Internet Wrestling Syndicate
http://www.syndicatewrestling.com
Chomedey, Laval, Québec, CANADA

Saturday, August 9th, 2003

*FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE*

Onyx Goes to War

    Dru Onyx, the IWS champion, will finally confront his number one
contender, the Arsenal next Saturday, August 16th, at Le Skratch in
Chomedey, Laval during Born to Bleed. The Arsenal, the so-called ³One Man
War² has been ducking Onyx for months, trying to play mind games with the
Bajan Bomber. IWS President Seska made the official announcement, ³Should
The Arsenal choose not to honour his contractual obligations at Born to
Bleed, he will be released from the IWS.² After her remarks, Onyx called the
Arsenal his ³number one tormentor² and promised to put the man he calls the
³Hardcore Hobbit² into the intensive care unit.

In response, the Arsenalıs manager, Iron Mike Patterson ranted,  ³The fans
know that The Arsenal has beaten you once big man, and they canıt wait for
him to do it again. You see the problem with Onyx is that he is no fan
favorite. The fans, they want their favourite wrestler The Arsenal to have
the belt, the ladies want The Arsenal to rub that big gold strap up against
them. So we are going to take the gold at Born to Bleed and then we are
going to party, Mike P. style, whoo!² Iron Mike Patterson also announced
that the other member of the Fan Favourites, Hardcore Ninja Number Two aka
the Evil Ninja would not be competing at Born to Bleed, ³Hardcore Ninja
Number Two is sacrificing his own career to act as the Arsenalıs sparring
partner. The Evil Ninja will be The Arsenal's number two man. Like Larry
Holmes getting Ali ready to beat George Foreman. Youıve heard of the Rumble
in the Jungle? Get ready for the Slaughter at Le Skratch.²

The man most disappointed that the Evil Ninja will not be in a match during
Born to Bleed is the Triple X "Sex XXXpress" Sexxxy Eddy. The former
two-time IWS champ, upset at his one-month suspension instigated by the Fan
Favourites, had publicly challenged the Evil Ninja to a match at Born to
Bleed. Instead of that match, Eddy will face El Generico in a match booked
by the Renaissance Man Peter LaSalle. The IWS announcer used his mysterious
booking power for this match to help him choose his vacation destination:
the strip clubs of Tijuana or of Montreal.

The Westmount Warrior, Beef Wellington will face his former body-guard
Career-Killer Kurt Lauderdale. Beefıs tag team partner, Kid Kamikaze, will
be in Beefıs corner despite the grievous injury suffered by the Westmount
Playboy when Hi-5 lost their IWS tag team belts at Hardcore Heat. Beef
blames that loss and Kid Kamikazeıs injury on Kurt Lauderdale, ³I totally
blame Kurt. We had that match won until he interfered. But I blame myself as
well. I never should have trusted a man who doesnıt even own a swimming
pool. Kurt calls himself the ³Career-Killer²? Letıs see if his career can
survive the ass-punch!²

The Green Phantom and EXcesS69 will defend their newly won IWS tag team
title belts against the Flying Hurricanes, Takao and Kenny the Bastard. Will
the unlikely title victory unite the IWS Odd Couple? Or will the Flying
Hurricanesı smooth partnership give them an advantage against two men know
more for fighting each other than their opponents?

Also scheduled for Born to Bleed is a monster six man tag match pitting the
united forces of le Syndicat de Lutte Internet against the champions of
Latin America as Fred le Merveille, Damian DuMont and Viking Vigneault will
face off against Latino Kid, Latino Mysterio and Puerto Rican star Hercules
Ayala Jr. The latest installment in le Syndicat de Lutte Internetıs war
against those who donıt speak French may be the most explosive yet. Given
how dramatic Hercules Ayala Jr.ıs first appearance in an IWS ring was,
wrestling fans eagerly await his first IWS match.

Born to Bleed will also feature Crazy Crusher, the Renaissance Man Peter
LaSalle, Commissioner Joseph FitzMorris, President Seska, Elsa Bangz and, as
always, the host for the IWS live events, Brian the Guppie of the Team 990ıs
Between the Ropes. 

The IWS presents Born To Bleed, scheduled for August 16th, at Le Skratch,
965 Cure Labelle, Chomedey, Laval, Québec. Tickets are twelve dollars at the
door. For information about the show e-mail ticket{at}syndicatewrestling.com or
visit the Internet Wresting Syndicate at their web-site:
http://www.syndicatewrestling.com. For information about IWS merchandise &
DVDs e-mail merchandise{at}syndicatewrestling.com or order from
http://xrv.com/iws/. 


--- Internet Rex 2.29