Hi, Daryl!  Recently you wrote in a message to Ardith Hinton:

DS>  He is real weak, and hasn't had much of an appetite
DS>  lately.


          Uh-huh.  That's not uncommon during the initial stages of
treatment... Nora experienced the same thing.  Later we went through a
short period where she had a different combination of drugs & she was
hungry all the time.  You may not be told what will happen next because
it's too much to take in all at once.  But in Nora's case the hungry &
not-hungry periods balanced each other over the long haul, and like your
father she made nutritionally sound choices either way.  :-)



DS>  I went over to my parents house Tuesday to walk him a bit.


          Glad to hear you're seeing him in person now!  The treatment may
go on for some time yet & he may need to be reminded of what he still
has to live for.



DS>  It may be just a matter of time now...


          Maybe... maybe not.  Does your father honestly want to get
better, and do you honestly believe he can??  Such factors often make a big
difference.  :-)



DS>  we've done a lot of praying, and it's truly in God's
DS>  Hands.


          Uh-huh.  There are situations over which we have little or no
control, and it's healthy to be able to recognize that.  But IMHO we must
do our bit too. God needs human hands to give someone a hug, to administer
the right medications on time, to mop up after an accident, etc.  Maybe
you're the only person who can get your father out for a walk.  As a
caregiver I'd pray for strength & guidance or say something like
"I've done all I can.  Over to you!"  While the outcome is beyond
my control, I believe my thoughts & actions may have some influence. 
:-)



DS>  We know it's incurable


          Who says so, and what do they mean??  "Inoperable"
doesn't necessarily mean "incurable".  And several people we
know, although not technically "cured", have been in remission
for ten or twenty years now....  :-)



DS>  but when he finally does cross over, we'll have a bunch
DS>  of good memories.


          That's nice, but I'm seeing some undertones of a farewell visit
there. I wondered about him when he said he'd "try" to fight the
cancer... and I wonder about you too.  Folks who are really serious about
it tend to say something more like what the singer Jos‚ Carreras did when
he was diagnosed with leukemia:  "If there's one chance in a million,
it's going to be mine!"  Two years later he was back at work... and
two years later Nora started kindergarten.  Both of them had something they
looked forward to doing, however, and they were younger than your father. 
I've known folks who died of cancer around the time of their retirement who
were also bored when they weren't at work.  An interesting coincidence. 
And those who are even older may not have much stamina, or may feel it's
time to go.



DS>  My late grandmother died of lung cancer in 1993...she
DS>  went down hill fast a month before she died.


          My grandmother went downhill fast too.  But she was eighty-five
at the time... and this occurred four decades ago.  Not long afterward my
aunt, who was told she'd be dead in two to six months, survived for three
years.  We have more effective treatments nowadays... and while all these
people had cancer involving the internal organs, each case is different. 
It's important to realize that the side effects of chemotherapy may not be
noticeable for awhile, so if your father seems to be "going downhill
fast" it may be your cue to have patience & to trust the universe.
 I gather the doctors haven't given up on him yet, anyway....  :-)



DS>  But, she was a real card at times.


          So she spoke her mind & had a sense of humour... I think
Bernie Siegel would approve.  He's also commented, BTW, that "death is
not a failure"....  :-)




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+