Hi William,
-=> Quoting William Kinmond to All <=-
  WK> I was wondering if it was normal at say a little over 2 years to
 WK> have a problem with anger.  I am had a real blowup the other day and
      In a word...YES!  Anger is part of all our lives and the difference 
being
that we can learn to handle it.  This may not be easy but it's do-able.  
You'll
probably get a lot of ideas and notes on this.  Sometimes I wish everyone 
would
do the 12STeps whether alcoholics or not.  I've learned so much about myself 
just by listening at AA meetings and relating others stories and problems to 
my
own.  Anger is one of the most difficult things I found to deal with.
      When I start getting mad about something, I simply STOP right then and 
there before I say anything.  (or do anything)  I take a minute to think 
FIRST.
That gives me that "edge" of decision that a lot of people don't use.  And it 
gives me an advantage given most situations.  Then I decide if I'm going to 
do 
anything about it right now, or think about it, make other decisions about it 
and then move.  I usually find out that what I'm getting so upset about is 
not 
that important and I can put it aside.  If it's soemthing that needs to be 
addressed right now then I can do it without explosion and can say what I 
mean 
and mean what I say.  If I explode I never make any sense and never make my 
point.
 WK> time.  I am getting tired of constently having to prove that I am clean
 WK> and plan on staying that way.  It seems that when ever I do something
 WK> that I have not done then there is someone there in my family or
 WK> friends that say "it looks like you want to use again, are you?"  It
 WK> seems no matter what I do or say I can't seem to get it in there heads
 WK> things are differant now. 
      I would have to say that this is THEIR problem not yours.  You only 
have 
to "prove" anything to YOU....no one else.  You know who you are, and what 
you 
are.  If your family is having a problem with trusting you perhaps they have 
good reason for doubt but they should not constantly be doubting your 
sincerity
with your sobriety.  Maybe they need some Alanon meetings so they can deal 
with
their own feelings.  I'm sure they have some doubts that need addressing, 
some 
bad feelings that need resolving.  But you can't do that for them anymore 
than 
you can change their minds about you.  You handle YOU and let them handle 
THEMSELVES.   You're doing fine.  Just smile and let them know you're at 
peace 
with yourself and your problem.
Andrea
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