Message-ID: 

Hype session:

* Coach and Snow praise Goldberg.  Are they playing it straight?  No, there's
  a subtle smarmy overtone.  Sure enough, they rag on Austin, then praise
  Bischoff.

* Things That Make Austin Happy:  Drinking beer (what?), four-letter words
  (what?), middle fingers (what?), drinking more beer (what?), and the United
  States Armed Forces (cheap pop! but hey, they *are* in Washington DC).

* Bischoff tries to backpedal from "betting on 3H as a winner",
but the best
  he can manage is "I don't want you to get the wrong idea".  Orton as his
  partner a couple of weeks ago was to "motivate" him.  Talk
about suspension
  of disbelief.  Bischoff claims to have created Goldberg.  Didn't he fire
  him, too?  Parallel with Austin, if they think to point it out.  Bischoff
  has a few seconds to see the spear coming, but gets hit anyway; his head
  even bounces off the ropes.

RVD's shot:

* Coach and Snow seem to be calling the match fairly well, modulo heel
  bias.  Has Coach improved, or is Snow supporting him, or is he as lousy
  as ever and I'm not seeing it?

* RVD fakes a single-leg drop-kick to set up for a split-legged moonsault,
  and later a leg scissors on the legs for a pin attempt.  Or did the leg
  scissors take place earlier?  Christian goes outside.  RVD is eager to
  follow him out, but the ref blocks him.  Why?  Belt shot, DQ.  Christian
  searches for an international object.  One-man Con-Chair-To?  Sledgehammer,
  perhaps?  No, he brings in a ladder.  I think we know the gimmick for the
  next title shot.

Between matches:

* Jericho chews the fat with Bischoff.  Jericho vs. Goldberg.  Yeah, a win
  there would annoy Austin, all right!

* Burn of the Night:  Freeze-frames of Shane's Big Fall.

NWO 2003:

* Evolution whacks  on their way to the ring.  3H:  "Go
  on, chant his name."  They do.  Nice 3-D effect on that Goldberg sign
  with the snarl.  3H:  "You didn't beat me-- I beat myself.  I didn't
  believe the hype.  You made me a believer.  Now it's time for me to make
  you believe."  Mix of putting him over and, well, not.  Montage of "Game
  Over" signs.  "For you, the game has just started.  I will get my
  rematch."  When?  "Keep my belt warm."

Angry Men of Color:

* Theodore Long for president.  Mark Henry's open challenge is answered
  by Tommy Dreamer.  He's still on the roster?  Only as a jobber, I guess.

Between matches again:

* Coach and Snow hype The Rundown.

* Evolution argue with Maven, Jindrak, and Garrison Cade.  Who the hell
  is Cade?  When did they bring him in?  I must've missed this one.

* Austin runs into Christian and Jericho.  JR gets a rematch against Coach
  next week, without the wrestlers this time.  Joy.  And yes, there's also
  a ladder match between RVD and CLB.  (Christian Likes Blondes?  Nope,
  Creepy Little Bastard.)

* Who was that giving the military props this time?

Women's rematch:

* Will they let Trish make the pin this time?

* Lita's headbutt to Molly's gut misses by a mile.  (No, seriously, a
  *whole* mile...)  Maybe her hair is supposed to do the damage.  Creative
  way of going for the pin - basically a push-up position with her legs
  across Molly's chest.

* Lita in the Ricky Morton role.  Who had it last night?  But she gets the
  pin again.  I smell someone eventually getting jealous and turning heel,
  but not for a while yet.

Between matches yet again:

* Jericho wants Bischoff to be the special ref.  Bischoff's ribs are too
  hurt.  Okay, be the special *outside* ref, "you do your part and I do
  my part".  Jericho is really giving a lot of thought to recruiting
  allies in his anti-Austin crusade.

* Scott struggles against his bonds.  Hey, Test just said to bring the
  bags to his room - he didn't say anything about not ruining the contents
  first.

* Coach makes an awkward transition from Test/Steiner to Kane/Shane.

* Shane in the hospital:  "As long as I'm breathing in and out..."  And
  right on cue, Kane shows up for an encore beating.  Nice visual with
  the blood bag dumped out on his face.  Hospital security shows up but
  they're a bunch of wussy little fraidy cats.  "Get well soon!"

* WWE Rewind:  A trifecta of tableau shots.

One down, two to go:

* The S.H.I.T. flies!  Dudleys congratulate them afterward.  Upcoming
  title defense?

Between matches, take four:

* Vince and friends drum up voters.  What's with the obsession with the
  word "utilize"?  One of my high school vice-principals had it, too.

NWO 2003 redux:

* Snow praises his old student Maven, to the point of pointing out his
  moral victory over Flair.  So they're only mostly heels.

* Flair gets up awfully quick from a backdrop, but sells the injury a
  couple moves later.  The crowd is much louder for Flair's chops, heel
  or no, than Maven's punches.

I got pulled away and missed the main event.  Someone want to fill in?


--- Internet Rex 2.29