Message-ID: 

I'll never forget the first time I saw James Harris.  James, as many
of you know, eventually evolved into Kamala "The Ugandan Giant".  It
was just like yesterday, the city was Cleveland, Mississippi.  I just
happened to look out the dressing room window, and saw a giant of a man
crossing the rock covered parking lot, carrying one of those old
cardboard blue suitcases.  I told the boys, "Check this guy out.  I
wonder who'll be the lucky one to work with him tonight?" 

James learned the ropes pretty quick and was given the name of Sugar
Bear Harris.  "Sugar Bear" got over fairly well, and learned quickly,
but then he was drafted into my stable of grapplers.  I immediately
changed his name to "Ugly Bear" Harris.  However, I began to discover
that he was getting more heat at home than in the arenas.   
You see, I treated poor "Ugly Bear" pretty badly.  If he lost a
television match, I sometimes made him bend over and I would plant foot
on his backside.  One time I even got carried away and slapped his
face.  The next night, James showed up in the dressing room and asked
me if we could talk in private.    

"Percy…" he began, "I just don't know how much more I can
take."  I
asked him to explain, "You see, I knows what we do ain't for real, but
my wife don't.  Every time you do something bad to me on TV, when I
gets home, she be waiting on me on the front porch with a shot gun." 
Now keep in mind, this was the mid-70's in rural Mississippi.  James
continued, "Last night, after she saw you slap my face, she chased me
across the street into the lumberyard, and Percy I had to stay out there
all damn night!  Please lets try something different this week, so we
can keep her and her friends happy." 

So, I eased up on 'ol "Ugly Bear" for a while, but then came the night
of the big TV Battle Royal.  The winner would receive $5000! 
Mephisto made the decision to put James over.  But James knew what
would be waiting on him when he got home.  

As he pulled into his muddy driveway, there she was, with all her
friends.  It was party time, hell after all; her husband had just won
$5000, by beating up 12 men.  ""Let me see it James."  Ugly Bear's
wife commanded,  "The $5000 you won on TV, I want to see it!"  
Stuttering like Mel Tillis, James tried to tell her he didn't get any
money.  Well boys…  it was back across the street to the
lumberyard, to spend another cold wet night!  Needless to say, the
next morning, I believe Mr. James Harris finally decided it was time for
Mrs. James Harris to get smartened up, if you will.



--- Internet Rex 2.29