Message-ID: 


"Ed Murphy"  wrote in message
news:pan.2003.10.02.18.12.48.648133{at}socal.rr.com...
> Highlight Reel:
>
> * Austin suspended for the night by Bischoff.  Boy, the de-facto power
>   arrangement ("either co-GM has absolute power until/unless reversed
>   or amended by the other co-GM") was confusing enough, but this?

Booking 101 was going to give lessons but with all the money lost on The
World, the cheque bounced.

> * Coach wears a Bret Favre shirt, and later in the evening reveals a
>   Packers shirt.  Naturally, they're in Chicago tonight.  Is Coach
>   showing any consistent loyalty, or is he just wearing Whatever Will
>   Piss Off Today's Hometown Crowd?

The latter, Christian did similar things on the mic during the glory days of
E&C

> * Bischoff can't hit the talent (unprovoked) either, apparently.

Which makes sense and it's consistant with his exchange with Shane when
Shane returned.

> * Austin throws a non-folding chair about halfway down the ramp, and damn
>   near hits Bischoff with it.

Ok, Austin lamped Bisch last week, he's violated his suspension this week
and he's been teasing his resignation for a few weeks now. How long will he
stay in the GM position?

> Tag title match:

> * Just a couple of days ago, someone here said that Steiner would have
>   no heat problems whatsoever if they'd only left him a heel.

Which is true on past form. Steiner's hard man act in the dying days of WCW
was a little too realistic for comfort, mainly because it's anyone's guess
how much of it was an act.

 Lo and
>   behold, he turns.  Has anyone ever devised a test comparable to
>   "Mmmmmmm, lutefisk" on alt.tv.simpsons (i.e. a suggested angle that
>   is just so *weird* that, if they ever actually do it, it pretty much
>   proves that they're reading this group)?

I would have thought Katy Vick established that. Even Russo couldn't have
scripted that monstrosity, ergo it must have been pulled off a newsgroup
somewhere.

That said, my nominations for the four most insane possible storylines:

1) The Big Show becomes a Buhddist, takes to wearing beads all the time and
re-names himself "The Love Shack"
2) H3 gets mired in a slump, getting beaten by everyone on the roster, even
JR
3) Undie resurrects the Ministry and his first convert is the returning Rock
4) The Hurricane continues his feud with the returning Rock by having
mild-mannered reporter Gregory Helms do a sleazy expose on who Rock was
romping in a hot-tub with on location.

 Kane's next victim(s):
>
> * Hurricane shows up, questions him about their run as face tag-champs
>   a year ago.  This plays perfectly into Kane's "I'm sick of pleasing
>   the crowd" routine.  Hurricane doesn't want to fight, but Kane forces
>   the issue by going after a kid in the front row with a Hurricane
>   mask.  Rosey comes out to help, of course.

He'd have to, Kane could use Helms as a toothpick.

> New Kids (no, that's too cruel a name) vs La Resistance and Friend:
>
> * Coach and Snow alternately praise and rag on Maven/Jindrak/Cade.  They
>   also alternately praise and rag on LR/RC.  Okay, so instead of one
>   relatively-objective caller and one color commentator

JR WAS OBJECTIVE?!?!?!

>   they're both
>   being half-objective and half-color.  While this is interesting, it
>   also relies much more on the wrestlers themselves to remind the
>   audience which ones are the faces and which are the heels.  Even
>   actively cheating doesn't count as a clear indicator, because faces
>   can cheat against a heel who richly deserves to be cheated; about
>   the only clear-cut indicator these days is the Ricky Morton role in
>   tag matches, which is pretty much always occupied by a face.

I actually really like Coach & Snow on commentary. OK, I'll hate them in six
months but for now all I can think of is no "PUPPIES",
"SLOBBERKNOCKER" or
moves called in triplicate and count my blessings.

> 3H's Major Announcement:
>
> * Prior to the announcement, Austin talks with RVD, then meets John
>   somebody (newly arrived from OVW?) who bought tickets.  Austin takes
>   him aside to talk turkey.
>
> * 3H puts up a $100K bounty for anyone who takes out Goldberg.  Okay,
>   that's a convenient excuse for lots of small fry to get really
>   ambitious.  Hey 3H, take off the wristwatch, the glare is reflecting
>   right into the camera!

It also provides a convienient excuse for Goldberg to avoid getting involved
with someone credible so when H3 returns he can point out that Goldberg
hasn't drawn ratings (because he's been programmed with the B squad but
Trips would forget that).

> Non-Wrestlers Redux:
>
> * Sign in the audience:
>   "Coach Sucks
>    Coach Sucks
>    Coach Sucks"

He's better than JR. These days, ANYONE'S better than JR.

> * Y2J fills in for Coach on commentary.  A proven good talker.
>
> * JR gets in lots of early blows.  Hit him in the face!  Coach gets the
>   upper hand and slows things down, preening for several seconds between
>   blows.  JR wins (I thought he and Lawler wanted an extended break?) and
>   gets to whip Bischoff for good measure.

So let me get this straight: JR's an overweight, over-the-hill guy from
Oklahoma with a medical disability (Bell's Palsy) and he can take on two
guys far younger and fitter than him, one of whom is a karate champion. Is
JR's ego running wild or have the writing crew been snorting Paulie's coffee
again?

> * Wrestlemania Recall:  Butterbean's first-round knockout of Bart Gunn
>   at WM 15 in 1999.

AKA, the death knell for Bart's career (in the west anyway)

> * Ross and Lawler return right away.  Bye, Coach!  Will Bischoff insist
>   on giving Coach a second chance to match Ross's second chance?

Here's hoping. I really, really want to see JR and Lawler gone for an
extended period.

> * Molly and Gail play the jealousy card.  Molly whacks Lita with a copy
>   of her own book.  "That book's already a hit!"  Trish
returns the favor
>   from 7 and 8 days ago, but Victoria piles on.  Victoria with something
>   resembling a reverse Vertebreaker-- the victim's knees are driven into
>   the mat, rather than their head.

I haven't seen the match yet but from the description, that sounds like her
finish, the Widow's Peak.

> Back to the big guys:
>
> * Extreme Blast of the Night:  Kane attacks Shane in the hospital.

Which looked dire. WWE always picks the move/angle that furthers their big
storyline rather than ones which actually look good.

> * Goldberg easily repels an attack by Stevie Richards.

Gee, there's a shock!

After the
>   commercial break, he (Goldberg) teams with Shawn Michaels against
>   Orton and Flair.  Unfortunately, I missed the rest of the show,
>   but from raw.wwe.com's results:
>
> * Rodney Mack hits Goldberg with a chair; Mark Henry wails on
>   Michaels.  One or both of these lead to a win by DQ.  Henry
>   promises to collect the bounty next week.

Ok, Henry's strong but he's an appaling worker. This is going to suck. Way
to kill Goldie's heat. Wait a minute, why am I surprised? Who has most to
lose by Goldberg being successful as champ and is marrying the head writer
in three weeks?

> * RVD wins the ladder match and the IC title.  Hey, find new partners
>   for him and Christian, and we can have TLC 5.  Or not.

Hopefully, not. That's gimmick's kind of run it's course.


--- Internet Rex 2.29