Hi yet again, James!  This is the last installment in the current series:

AH>  I never said "Ahem... it's your turn to do xxx now!"
AH>  She would eventually realize what had been going on,
AH>  and then she'd do it....  :-)

JB>  That's a prime example of leading by example. {-:


          Uh-huh.  She's not stupid, lazy, or uncaring... she is
overwhelmed by other problems at times.  The same might also apply to your
neighbours....  :-)



JB>  Maybe her work ethic had a part in her divorce. Maybe
JB>  her x was equally, and deservedly maligned. Maybe it's
JB>  not our place to ask, or even care where blame belongs.


          Yes...

          I'm not into placing blame & I usually take whatever people
say about their ex with a grain of salt.  In this case I like both parties,
but I see how & why they were probably mismatched in certain ways. 
Neither of them realized, until they became parents, how different their
thinking styles were.  I get the impression their upbringing was quite
different too.  In the EdBiz we often say people tend to teach the way they
were taught.  Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.  Not all kids
respond equally well to the same teaching style.  The same applies to
parenthood... people tend to parent the way they were parented.

          With parenthood there is an added complication, assuming both
parents are actively involved in the upbringing of a particular child. 
They'll be team teaching for twenty years or more & their relationship
may not be up to it.  In team teaching the crucial factor is not that both
parties do things exactly the same way but that they understand &
acknowledge each other's strengths....  ;-)



JB>  Roughing it can bring such deficiencies to the forefront,
JB>  and provide plenty of learning opportunities. ((-|


          Yes.  If you are in any doubt about who you want to spend the
rest of your life with, I'd definitely recommend you go camping with
them... [chuckle].



AH>  [...] this guy wasn't just looking for a handout.  He
AH>  offered to do something useful for us in exchange & we
AH>  took him up it.  I respect that sort of attitude.  :-)

JB>  An appropriate reward for an adequate job. That's
JB>  something my cynical eye has forgotten about.


          I'd almost forgotten too, until you reminded me, how we had
people at our back door when I was a child offering to do a bit of work in
exchange for a sandwich or whatever.  If a person is willing to do
something useful for others
... e.g. holding a door open or doing some manual labour or playing a tune
on a musical instrument to entertain passers-by... I may have some empathy
for them. If they want my money just for acting helpless, they can go fly a
kite....  :-)



JB>  Let's hope he moved onto bigger and better things.


          I often think of him, and I hope so too....  :-)



[re the young neighbours who invited you to a party]
AH>  Good for you!  Seems to me they may have learned
AH>  something important there.  If not, it certainly
AH>  wasn't for lack of opportunity....  ;-)

JB>  It's up to the student, isn't it. 


          In a word... yes.  :-)




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+