0n (02 Oct 06) George Pope wrote to Cindy Haglund...

 GP> On (23 Sep 06) Cindy Haglund wrote to all...
 CH> But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a Monk

 GP> Bravo!  I love shaggy dog stories!

 That's a shaggy dog story? (taking notes).. :) Do help Bjorn out on
this one. You're better with the puns.
.......................
.
 GP> Here's one more:

 GP>        The flattened body of the middle-aged businessman was embedded
 GP> in the roof of the car. He had jumped from the twenty-third floor and

AH and this was in Texas in August! :)

 GP> landed on the parked Subaru. His lifeless eyes were staring peacefully
 GP> up at the
 GP> spot from where, just moments before, he had launched himself.

 ((Houston we have a problem!)

 GP>         Plainclothes policemen were taking statements from the
 GP> restaurant's patrons, most of whom were in the middle of their meals
 GP> when the man
 GP> suddenly got up from his table, said good-bye to his companions and
 GP> took a run at the plate-glass window. It shattered and he was gone.

So the dead guys motehr sues the glass window maker?

 GP>         Everyone just sat there in shocked silence, their foodladen
 GP> forks suspended half-way to their O-shaped mouths.

The restauarnt owner sues the family of the deceasd for ruining his
window and his business.

 GP>         His friends had been the most shocked of all. They had no
 GP> inkling of what he intended to do. He just finished his drink, got up,
 GP> and jumped.

 He was looking for the bathroom But the PCP laced martini had him
 think he was a bird and the window wide open!
 
 GP>         There was nothing more they could tell the police. They
 GP> weren't aware of any financial or marital problems, blackmail, sexual
 GP> dysfunction,
 GP> depression or anything else that could possibly make him want to take
 GP> his life in such a way.

 GP>         ''What was he eating," the policeman asked?

 GP>         ''Just a salad, that's all. Jack seldom ate much.''

 GP>         The policeman regarded the salad with longing. It reminded him
 GP> that he had not yet eaten. ''How about drinks, did he have any?''

 GP>         ''Just a few. But if you think he was drunk, forget it. He
 GP> could handle his liquor.''

 GP>         ''What was he drinking?"

 GP>         ''Martinis.''


SEEE I GUESSED RIGHT!

 GP>         ''How many?"

 GP>         ''Three.''

 GP>         The policeman thanked them and walked over to the inspector.
 GP> ''Open and shut, sir"

 GP>         ''Oh, and why is that?'' '

 GP>         'He'd been drinking, sir We see it all the time. Very sad.
 GP> Another three Martini lunge.''   (By Terry Morrison)

 OOh... not funny but punny! :)

Cindy


... Nervous: Asking what wine goes well with fingernails.

--- PPoint 3.01