Hi, James!  Recently you wrote in a message to Ardith Hinton:

JB>  Grand-dad used to tell my uncles, "Hard work won't
JB>  kill you, old age will." Simplistic: Sure. But, it
JB>  explains a bit about me and my cousins on that side
JB>  of my family.


           Once again, I think you said a mouthful there!  I don't need to
tell you about re-examining the answers you learned before you had enough
maturity & life experience to ask appropriate questions... you've
already been doing that. What I often refer to as mental/emotional work
includes bringing such things to a conscious level, where you can
acknowledge what your grandfather (or whoever) said as a useful insight
while recognizing its limitations.

           My family seldom expressed their philosophy in aphorisms such as
the above... but the general idea was much the same.  I find my own cousins
to be a useful resource.  Sometimes I can see myself in them, as if they
were operating in an alternative universe where I'd made different choices,
and sometimes they validate my perception of other relatives with an
offhand comment.  Dallas also has a cousin with whom both of us feel the
same way....  :-)



JB>  The neighbouring fence is up, and I bodged together
JB>  the same amount on my side, (At the back ally, the
JB>  two yards measure 140', so there *is* a valid reason
JB>  so many years have been used mending it.) plus 90%
JB>  of a garbage shed/lawn-mower garage is up and painted.


           Sounds as if you've accomplished a lot there... and I reckon it
must have been quite an undertaking!  Now I'll dig a bit deeper.  Are you
doing this because it suits your style, because it's what you're accustomed
to, or because you're still trying to please your grandfather??  The
nature/nurture debate has been going on for centuries, so we may not arrive
at any firm conclusions.  But I'm reminded of my grandmother's answer, for
example, when I asked why she kept the dining room clock twenty minutes
fast... "Grandpa liked it that way."  He'd been deceased for
several years by then.  Although her line of reasoning didn't make much
sense to me as a teenager she was able to state it clearly.  Dallas & I
later put this clock in our dining room... set to the correct time.  In
other cases, however, our ancestors may never have explained why they
behaved the way they did & we may not be sure how best to proceed.

           I imagine you learned from your grandfather the value of hard
work & perseverence... a very good lesson, IMHO!  But in his day we
wouldn't be having the sort of conversation we're having now because people
like Nora... if they'd managed to survive past their fourth birthday...
would have been kept hidden in a back bedroom.  When there was no cure for
cancer there was no need to discuss strategies for dealing with
after-effects of treatment either.  We're pioneers, just as our
grandparents were.  The terrain is a bit different, though....  ;-)




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+