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"Cadillac" Kasey James w/Bert Prentice Vs. Rockin Randy

Neither one of these guys have ever been on MW before, Maclin plucked
them from Bert Prentice's show in Nashville for this match. Finish came
with Prentice distracting the ref and James knocking Randy out with some
brass knux for the 1, 2, 3.

Winner: "Cadillac" Kasey James via use of Brass Knucks

Alternative Express w/Lady Athena Vs. Kevin White & Flex

Kevin White verbally tore into the Alternative Express, the match was
finally started. Douglas went to hit Flex with a chain wrapped around
his fist, but Flex ducked and clotheslined him down hard. Flex then went
to use the chain, but the ref stopped him and took it out of his hands,
only for Stevens to throw Douglas another chain! Douglas then punched
Flex right between the eyes with the chain wrapped around his fist to
get the dirty 1, 2, 3!

Winner: Alternative Express via use of chain

Maclin then got in the ring and welcomed out legendary announcer Lance
Russell! Russell joined Maclin and Teigland at ringside for the rest of
the show, as Russell did the ring announcing for the next match.

Ladies Street Fight
Lady Athena Vs. April

Athena is the valet of the Alternative Express, while April is the valet
of the Moondogs. This was just your basic catfight, where the winner had
to strip off all of the other womans clothes! They just rolled around
all over the ring, with Athena eventually stripping April down to her
bra and panties to get the easy win.
Winner: Lady Athena

"The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart made his first appearance,escorting
Humogous out for the next match.

Humongous w/Jimmy Hart Vs. Cyborg

Both of these men are huge, and it was a power struggle the whole match.
Hart interfered the whole match, as both men took each other down with
various suplexes and just clubbed away on each other for several
minutes. The finish ended up being a double countount, as both men
brawled outside and up the rampway.

Winner: Humongous & Cyborg got counted out

Cyborg didn't like this decision as he even got into Maclins face! Of
course the crowd didn't like this too much either, as we wanted to see a
finish of course, but I know they wanted to keep both of these big men
strong for the time being, so they didn't want to job either one of them
out just yet.

Rock 'N' Roll Express Vs. The Moondogs w/April

This was a match I was very much looking forward too, as these two
legendary tag teams went at it one more time in a tables, ladders and
chairs match! The win, you had to put one member of the other team
through a table! They went right after each other in this match, with
Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson not holding back on those chair shots and
the Moondogs swinging 2x4's as hard as they could! All four men's backs
were red as they kept brawling all over the place, really not holding
back at all. Ricky Morton even teased powerbombing Moondog Spot through
a table, but of course Spot was too fat to get in the air! Their was
some very good old school hardcore action, as the finish came with
Robert Gibson being rolled up on a table and the other Moondog climbed
up on a 15 foot ladder and leaped off, but Gibson rolled out of the way
just in time, as the Moondog went crashing through the table himself,
giving the Rock 'N' Roll Express the win.

Winner: Rock 'N' Roll Express

After the match, April strapped the Moondogs because they beat
themselves! Moondog Spot was furious as he chased Maclin and Teigland
around the ring with a chair! The ring crew then came in and cleaned up
the mess and fixed the ring. 

Lance Russell then ring announced for the next match.
Kamala w/Jimmy Hart Vs. Koko B. Ware

This match was supposed to be Reggie B. Fine vs. Koko B. Ware, but
obviously something came up with Reggie, because he wasn't on the
Saturday morning show, and he was replaced in this match by Kamala. Koko
took in to the big man to start the match with headbutts and chops, but
the African giant quickly fought back using his size advantage. Kamala
then beat down on Koko for several minutes just clubbing away on him!
Eventually behind a "Birdman" chant, Koko managed to take Kamala off his
feet with a nice dropkick, but he still couldn't get the three count.
Koko finally got tired of Jimmy Hart interfering, and he laid into
Kamala with the 2x4 that he brought to the ring with him, causing the
ref to call for the bell.

Winner: Kamala via DQ

First Main Event

No DQ Six Man Tag Team Match
Jerry "The King" Lawler, "Handsome" Jimmy Valiant &
"The Nature Boy"
Buddy Landel Vs. "Superstar" Bill Dundee, "King" Mabel
& Jimmy Hart

At first it was just going to be a tag team match with Lawler and Landel
vs. Mabel and Dundee, with Valiant and Hart in their respective corners.
But of all people, Hart pleaded Dundee to change it to a 6 man tag match
so he could get his hands on Valiant! Valiant then declared it was going
to be a No DQ 6 man tag team match! This was by far the match of the
night, as the veterans knew how to entertain the crowd and keep us
interested. Landel and Dundee started the match with some wrestholds and
mat wrestling, but Lawler worked the majority of the match with Mabel.
Mabel used his size advantage against Lawler, knocking him down with
some hard clotheslines and splashes in the corner. Mabel ended up giving
the ref a belly to belly suplex! 2 other refs had to drag him to the
back, as we got a new ref for the match. Valiant and Hart eventually got
in the ring and traded punches back and forth, as Valiant really knows
how to get the crowd into a match! Lawler and Dundee eventually get into
the ring together as the crowd popped big for it, as these two veterans
locked up! Dundee took it to the King with several big punches, but all
it did was piss Lawler off! Lawler ended up almost piledriving Dundee,
but Mabel stopped it before it could happen, and Mabel continued to beat
down on Lawler, as the crowd was really behind the King. After Mabel
took Lawler down with his Double handed Sit-Out powerbomb (Baldo Bomb),
Hart tagged in to give Lawler the boots while he was down! Hart choked
Lawler in the corner with the tape around his wrist, as Valiant got the
crowd behind the face team. The finish came with Hart holding Lawler in
place for Mabel to come in and clothesline him, but Lawler ducked out of
the way and Mabel killed Hart with a clothesline and Lawler quickly
crawled over and pinned Hart for the 1, 2, 3!

Winner: Lawler, Valiant, & Landel via Mabels accidental clotheslining of
Hart
Lawler, Landel and Valiant then left to a big pop, as Dundee and Hart
took the mic and complained to Maclin, Teigland & Russell at ringside,
saying if they don't just reverse the decision then their not ever
coming back to the Coliseum again! After the heels finally left, Maclin
rung the bell for the 2nd main event and the last match of the night.

2nd Main Event

Too Cool (Brian Christopher & Scotty 2 Hotty) Vs. "Dangerous" Doug
Gilbert & Shock w/Jimmy Hart

Christopher and Scotty 2 Hotty came out to big pops, only Lawler got a
bigger pop during the night. They danced their way down the aisle, as
Shock, Gilbert and Hart jumped out of the ring like true heels! The
match started with Christopher and Shock in the ring, and Christopher
ended up knocking Shock to the outside into Harts arms! However,
Christophers pants had come undone, and I'm pretty sure this was a rib,
as Scotty sneaked up behind him and pulled down Christophers pants
exposing his tighty whities!!! Shock eventually got back into the ring,
but Christopher ended up pulling his tights down exposing his thong!!!
Finally Gilbert and Scotty got in the ring, and Gilbert took over
chunking Scotty around the ring, choking him on the ropes as Hart
continually interefered. Eventually Too Cool took over again as
Christopher hit Gilbert with a DDT, and then they took Gilberts bat and
crotched him with him jumping up and down in the air! Gilbert ended up
rolling to the outside, as Christopher punched Hart off the apron as
well. The finish came with Scotty planting Shock with a bulldog, and
then doing the Worm as the crowd chanted along! Christopher then climbed
up top and nailed the Hip Hop Legdrop to get the 1, 2 ,3!

Winner: Too Cool via Worm/Hip Hop Drop combo

After the match, Too Cool danced their way back up the ramp, as Scotty
pulled down Christophers pants again on the stage! Hart, Gilbert, and
Shock complained to Maclin as well, telling him he'll pay for the result
of the last two matches, because nobody treats the First Family that
way! The show then came to an end with Lance Russell thanking everybody
for coming and for us to tune in on UPN at 10:30 to catch Memphis
Wrestling every Saturday morning!


--- Internet Rex 2.29