Florida jet evacuated after fake bomb threat
     FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. - April 1, 1998 1:13 p.m. - More than 100
 people were evacuated from a Southwest Airlines jet because of a
 bomb scare Wednesday, but nothing was found during a search of the
 aircraft, officials said.
     "It was a hoax," said a spokeswoman at Southwest's headquarters
 in Dallas.
     A spokeswoman at the Federal Aviation Administration regional
 headquarters in Atlanta and officials at Florida's Fort Lauderdale/
 Hollywood Airport said a threat had been made to Southwest Flight
 750 and the plane was searched in Fort Lauderdale after it arrived
 from Tampa.
     The 96 passengers and five crew were cleared from the flight and
 bomb dogs searched luggage on the airport tarmac.
     FAA spokeswoman Kathleen Bergen said the plane had been cleared
 to resume service.
     An airport spokesman said federal regulations barred him from
 releasing any other details about the incident.
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                 The Associated Press/Rick Rycroft
     The press release said that a Boeing 747 jumbo jetliner would be
 flying under the Sydney Harbor Bridge in Australia. When Associated
 Press photographer Rick Rycroft arrived to record the scene he saw a
 "jet" made of 45 plywood sheets sitting on a barge, and "flying"
 under the harbor bridge.
     The replica was built by students at the University of Sydney's
 Department of Aeronautical Engineering, and you guessed it, the
 plane flew under the bridge on April 1 ... "April Fool's Day."
                By Christopher Elliott
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     Ever board a flight that went nowhere? Maybe the plane just
 rolled out onto the runway and then returned to the gate, or worse
 still, it never  even moved?
     Happens all the time. Although neither the Department of
 Transportation nor the Federal Aviation Administration collect
 statistics on mechanical delays, experience tells us that roughly 5
 percent of all scheduled flights are hampered by some kind of
 "technical" trouble.
     Just look at an airline's delay numbers, discount the weather,
 and  you've got a good idea of the kind of havoc mechanical problems
 can wreak on a carrier's schedule.
                       Mechanical Semantics
     None among us would be in favor of taking off with broken engines
 or  flaps. But is that usually what they're talking about when they
 tell us  our flight has been grounded because of mechanical trouble?
     Often it's not. It seems carriers have begun adopting a very
 generous definition of "mechanical" trouble.  When an apologetic
 flight  attendant gets on the PA system and announces that you're
 stuck because  the aircraft is "experiencing mechanical problems,"
 it might be that  it's an aircraft other than yours that's, in fact,
 having trouble. Or  the problem might not be the kind that you would
 think would ground a plane - a clogged toilet, perhaps, or a button
 that's not illuminating.
     Airline insiders say carriers have canceled flights for every-
 thing from a broken coffeemaker to wet glue under the windshield to
 rather  vague (read nonexistent) "engine irregularities."
     "They call it mechanical trouble," says Frank Kogen, president
 and  chief operating officer for corporate travel agency Advanced
 Travel  Management in New York. "But it isn't. Not the way we think
 of it."
     Well then, what is it? It could be a couple of things. According
 to  Paul Hudson, executive director of the Aviation Consumer Action
 Project, a nonprofit consumer advocacy group based in Washington,
 D.C., "there's an interest in exaggerating mechanical delays, be-
 cause they're excluded from on-time performance statistics kept by
 the FAA."
     So if a plane is running late, just call it a mechanical delay
 and  it won't go on the airline's record. Heck, cancel the flight -
 it won't  matter.
                          Convenient Excuse
     Airlines routinely ice underbooked flights for "mechanical" rea-
 sons and send travelers out on a later flight. What the airline won't
 tell you is that your plane works just fine. It's another aircraft -
 perhaps one that's got more passengers on it - that's broken.
     "It's a joke," admits an American Airlines crewmember, who will
 remain nameless so she can keep her job. "We're telling passengers
 that  the flight is canceled because of a mechanical problem, but
 what we  really should be saying is that their plane is needed
 elsewhere."
     If you're still a skeptic, I invite you to check out the
 "departures" screen on your next layover in Denver or Atlanta. Try
 this  on a day when the weather is quiet and there are few passen-
 gers in the  terminal. Saturdays and Sundays are best. Now count the
 number of  cancellations and ask yourself: what are the odds of that
 many flights  succumbing to mechanical trouble at the same time?
     On a layover in Dallas last week, with the weather clear as a
 bell, I saw a whole column of cancellations. Unless there's a sabo-
 teur at work at DFW, I figured this was prime example of airline
 cancellation greed.
                            Worst Offenders
     Which airlines have a lot of dubious cancellations? Charters are
 the  worst, mostly because they only operate a limited number of
 aircraft.  For them, a "mechanical" problem can be something as in-
 significant as a  stopped-up toilet.
     Not every airline pulls this stuff. Last year, after one of its
 flights from New York to London broke down, British Airways offered
 to re-book the stranded passengers. Only one traveler, who happened
 to be related to a flight attendant, refused to go. He wasn't in any
 hurry, he said, and would gladly take the flight once it was fixed.
 He ended up  being the lone passenger on the Boeing 747.
     "It was a little embarrassing, to be honest, having only one
 passenger on that flight," says British Airways spokeswoman Margie
 Vodopia. Her carrier's rule is simple. It operates the flights
 whether  they're overbooked or underbooked. I like that policy.
         What should you do if your flight is canceled?
    Dealing With Delays Know your rights. Mechanical trouble is the
 carrier's  responsibility. The airline still has to get you to your
 destination and  usually must cover meals and lodging if you're stuck
 somewhere longer than you planned. Get a copy of the rules and don't
 be afraid to use them. One good place to find the rules is the Web
 site 1travel.com. Avoid cancellation-prone times. Weekends are prime
 cancellation time. Try to stay away from evening flights, which are
 the ones likeliest to fly (or, as the case may be, not fly) with a
 couple of passengers. Bigger is better. Stick with the largest car-
 riers. Even if your flight is canned, chances are you'll end up get-
 ting to your destination the same day, instead of having to wait.
 Your patience might be tested with a smaller airline or a charter.
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