Subject: Insights...  4. (1/2) (1/2)

09-25-08 22:48: Ardith Hinton to James Bradley, "Insights...  4."

 AH> Hi yet again, James!  This is the penultimate installment

L!!! Turned into the pinnacle of a delayed 'echo'.

 AH>           Dallas & I both enjoy such situations as well.  We do
 AH> the majority of our shopping at local stores during periods
 AH> when they're not likely to be busy. There are various practical
 AH> considerations involved, as I imagine there are for you...

The crowds are not so much a consideration for me. I tend to concentrate on the
drive-time. If I can pilot the vehicle with as few stops and starts, that means
I have to flex my damaged nerve that much less. Next, I try to minimize my time
behind the wheel.


 AH> but the psychological aspects are equally important.  Where
 AH> an extrovert might find it stimulating to shop in big busy
 AH> malls we find it overstimulating. We prefer getting to know
 AH> the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker *as

Cripes... I recall only one of those proprietors as being on my regular rounds,
and I couldn't fathom where I'd find the local candlestick maker. 

 AH> individuals* and relating to them one-on-one.  So do you, I
 AH> guess!  IMHO you're not isolating & you're not
 AH> antisocial... you appreciate the benefits of contact with
 AH> other human beings & access them in ways which suit your
 AH> temperament.  :-)

I hope not to bring the 'tone' down again, but I've been concerned that I'm
becoming that bitter old cuss, and then a study came out that they live longer.
I can't win for losing! [-|{ Truth is, I'll likely die with low blood pressure,
and kids dangling off each ear.

Speaking of kids. One of my neighbour favorites is trying to exercise her
authority over me the last few visits. "Why don't *you* turn the water on
*yourself?* The tap's right there." and "If I stop to turn the
tap on or off
every time you want, I'll never get anything done but turning the water on and
off." was a common theme.

Of course she thought the work I was doing was worthless, or at least not as
important as turning the water on and off all afternoon.  I have to lay
down the law with a few others as well, when I insist their safety might depend
on them listening. The last one I told not to play on the ally, saw a car pass
within seconds. Later that afternoon, she was riding her tric down the same
ally, so I'm about to call family services to keep *that* kid alive.


 AH>           Same here.  When I was a kid, it was generally taken
 AH> for granted that one would do the right thing & the emphasis
 AH> was on correcting one's errors.  As a waitress I appreciated
 AH> being recognized for my ability to fill a coffee cup & change
 AH> an ash tray without disturbing a poker game.  Most people
 AH> didn't notice, but I remember with gratitude the guy who

I told you of the busser that cleared my table while I was reading the paper
and I didn't notice until I turned the page? I didn't see her when I was
walking out that day, but my next visit on her shift, I made a point of
pointing out how impressive that action was.


 AH> did... and as a teacher I resolved to tell my students what
 AH> they were doing right because I would have benefited from
 AH> it when I was their age.  If you enjoy that sort of
 AH> consciousness-raising I can relate.  Dallas & I now make a
 AH> point of recognizing such employees too....  :-)

I doubt your body language, or your kind "Thank you." didn't do
that very thing
in the past. You had the conscious notion to dwell on the positive that many
years ago, so I doubt you've trespassed into negative territory unless it was
warranted.


 AH>           I would say you're wise beyond your years because
 AH> of what you've been through.  I've seen the same among kids
 AH> & siblings of kids with serious medical problems.  I don't
 AH> wish such problems on anyone... but I like the results.  ;-)

No, anyone "in the know" wouldn't wish it - but there's those that learn to
make lemonaid, and those that get comfortable with the bitterness.


 AH>           Some years ago I ran across a comment from a
 AH> fifteen-year-old who was in treatment for leukemia.  When asked
 AH> how his illness had affected him he said he was a lot mouthier
 AH> than he used to be.  I cheered for that kid!  From what I have
 AH> observed Bernie Siegel's assessment was quite correct... the
 AH> sweet, docile people-pleasers are the ones who inspire sayings
 AH> like "Those whom the gods love die young."  By putting your
 AH> energies into being real & not worrying about what others
 AH> think you maximize the odds of living to fight another day.
 AH>  And there's the quality-of-life aspect too.  I reckon that
 AH> kid is glad to be alive....  :-)

Woops! Sore subject. I told my doctor, "I don't feel *lucky* to be
alive." We
shared a bit of a chuckle over that, but he knows I'm coping as best I can. /-:

--- Maximus 3.01