Hi again, James!  This is a continuation of my previous message to you:

JB>  Now, that's all great when the job works out, but the
JB>  next one bit me. I'm still working on figuring out my
JB>  head when I get into these situations, but I know I get
JB>  firmly entrenched in them, and I dig in hard.


          I'm reminded of MAN OF LA MANCHA, the dramatized version of the
story of Don Quixote.  An old man imagines he's a knight in shining
armour... and the family is worried because he often gets battered &
bruised tilting at windmills etc.  They don't notice he's turned a young
woman's life around because he sees good in her where others don't.  His
song of how he dreams the impossible dream makes my hair stand on end. 
Then his relatives wall up his library & say "What library??"
 They feel he's demented.  They'd rather he die of a broken heart in his
nice safe rocking chair.  Maybe there's a bit of Don Quixote in both of us.
In short:  1) You can't win 'em all & 2) Nothing ventured, nothing
gained.  ;-)



JB>  Dad was driven nuts by my blazing a new trail. The
JB>  rest of the family is littered with conformists. To
JB>  dads' chagrin, he might have better prepared me for
JB>  today, by unwittingly fostering me to rebel.


          Yes, he might.  I'd been wondering if you encountered some
resistance over your interest in playing percussion... whether it seemed
too much like fun to other family members.  I rebelled against the idea
that I wasn't "working to capacity" in school, even when I was
devoting eight hours a day to homework.  I decided there was more to life
& took up the clarinet as a hobby.  You can tell these people you're
improving the functioning of the corpus callosum & whatnot, but it's
all Greek to them.  IMHO I did what was right for me, anyway....  :-))



AH>  We're pioneers, just as our grandparents were.  The
AH>  terrain is a bit different, though....  ;-)

JB>  I suspect a discussion to our ancestors, about where
JB>  to find cheap supplies for a T.E.N.S. machine would
JB>  equally need a few explanations.


          Oh, yes!  We learned to keep our computer monitors turned off
when my parents came to visit because they'd stare at them the way people
used to stare at TV test patterns during the 1950's.  There were a lot of
things about Nora's medical condition which we never told them.  Other
folks believe one should let it all hang out because their relatives were
so-o-o wonderfully supportive, but your (and our) mileage may vary.  We
also have a T.E.N.S. machine, BTW....  :-)



JB>  I'd like to think health challenges would have been dealt
JB>  with on a case by case basis in the past, but institutional
JB>  housing would have been much more prevalent, I expect. (I
JB>  get the willies from the "back bedroom" you speak of.)


          When I was growing up, most people could see only two
alternatives... institutionalize the kid or pretend s/he doesn't exist. 
Fortunately I had some examples to draw upon in which such kids led more or
less normal lives....  :-)



JB>  Perhaps therapies and aids are so much better today,
JB>  that more challenged kids are encouraged to live more
JB>  autonomously?


          Basically, I think you're on the right track there.  Nowadays we
have resources people didn't have years ago.  Accessing them is another
matter... it takes time & dedication.  But we owe a lot to those
parents who didn't go along with the popular wisdom of the day &
demonstrated that their offspring could do far more than the experts (who'd
based their conclusions on studies of folks in institutional settings)
thought.  With appropriate support, many parents I know will say "Yes
they can!" & bust their a$$es to prove it.  Although I may be old
before my time, the cost to society will be reduced over the long haul.... 
:-)




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+