On (22 Oct 05) Cindy Haglund wrote to WAYNE CHIRNSIDE...
 CH>  WC> I'm left handed and dyslexic.
 CH>  WC> Dyslexia is tied to poor development of socail skills and I can't
 CH>  WC> debate that.
 CH>
 CH>
 CH>  Yes and even now if you're 'different' in ANY WAY from what MOST
 CH> people are, your 'difference' is seen as an "ABNORMALITY"
that MUST be
 CH> FIXED....

Yes, and in "their" perfect world, you wouldn't have options to overcome
the communication barrier your deafness causes, so you'd be a docile
slave -- you'd be obedient(grateful, even!) to your master and/or
husband!

 CH> Recently in our paper there's a feature about a play given by a local
 CH> HS (high school) about parents wanting to get their deaf 7 year old a
 CH> CI (Cochlear implant)... (don't get me started).
 CH>
 CH> I learned two things from this article.
 CH>
 CH> 1. The Deaf (born deaf) community do not regard themselves ad
 CH> 'disabled'...

I had a senior neighbour who watched a news program on the C.I. and
interviewed some mothers who said they would not get it for their deaf
child, because they didn't want to deny their child "their deaf
community" -- my friend's view was that the parents were making an evil
crime of denying their children the gifts, for example, of
knowing/appreciating music.

What's your view?

Certainly being deaf, if the world is willing/able to care enough about
them as being fellow citizens in human society to communicate with them!
("all you-all")

 CH> 2. Besides the FACT CI's do not restore full hearing (tone wise
 CH> required for speech indentation for example)- in all individuals and
 CH> I will tell you another fact: silence is preferable to noise...
 CH> besides these two 'shuts them up every time" facts CI's can pose a
 CH> danger (read: serious injury) to the wearer should they receive a blow
 CH> to
 CH> the head.

But isn't it worth it, if it helps SOME get normal hearing, so they can:

-know & appreciate "music"?
-have the ability to hear warnings of danger (eg. accellerating car
 around the corner, barking dog on the move, rattlesnake rattle, etc.)
-be able to more easily communicate with more people using all the
 abilities that God/Nature/Evolution has bestowed on the human creature

Yes, some deaf people(one of my neighbours stands out in particular)
experience no real barrier in communicating with hearing folk, but it
does take a special person with exceptional abilities & motivation to
overcome the natural barrier.

It's like trying to communicate with dolphins, in their environment --
we're crippled -- if it was important to communicate with them we'd have
to overcome our disabilities of being land-bound, and mute/deaf, as far
as dolpin-style communication goes!)

Okay, I know what you're thinking(I think): f*** communicating with the
dolphins; I'll live my life without it and be perfectly happy!"

But born-deaf children aren't as separated from hearing society as
we-all are from dolphins

Society is stronger (collectively & individually) with greater
unity(through communication), so we each have a greater opportunity to
achieve our highest potential(cf. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs)!

Let's say you get injured somehow(bit by a rattlesnake, e.g.)

You're being part of a society affords you the ability to get thee to a
hospital, communicate that you were bit by a diamondback rattler
(verbally is quickest, but you could convey it, still, via writing
"diamondback" or even drawing the distinctive back pattern plus a
squiggly line to indicate snake(or use your hand to make a snake-like
motion)

You're where you are today because you're part of a societal whole.

The days when humanity were so few we each had our own little plot to
grow just what we need for our own family unit are long past. . .

We NEED the industrialization we have to have a means to contribute so
as to earn some sort of recompense to provide for necessities (food,
shelter, medical, etc.)

Doesn't it stand to reason that the easier it is, the higher we can go
in our paths?

Who can achieve greater success climbing a mountain?
a) s/he who climbs the cliffs straight up (without equipmint/training)
b) s/he who does the same, but with proper equipment/training
c) s/he who follows the nicely marked hiking trail that meanders around
   the worst obstacles
d) s/he who is dropped off at the top by helicopter.

If the goal is to reach the top, "d" clearly wins, because
"D" ably
overcame all disabilities.

EVERYBODY has disabilities; but society defines some as more
overt/problematic than others, but the fact remains that ALL have them!

A friend of mine was in a local mall having a smoke(back in the day!)
and saw a young girl in a wheelchair who was a quadruple amputee;
Heather, naturally, had a first reaction, internally, of "awwww, what a
darn shame for someone so young & pretty!"

Well, it must have showed somehow, because this girl wheels herself over
right in front of Heather and says, "Don't you DARE feel sorry for me! I
*KNOW* what MY disability is -- what's YOURS?"

Heather, instead of getting offended, allowed that to sink in and
thought about it all that day, and became a better(more enlightened)
person because of it -- she shared it with us later that night, and I,
too, have become more enlightened because of it (I didn't experience
what Heather did, but through the miracle of equitable clear
communication I could learn the same lessons/values as she did!)

I'll admit, right off, that you, being deaf, can learn life's lessons
that I can't, and through this miracle of equitable clear communication
you could share them with me(and others) so in that respect you're not
"disabled" in any absolute sense of the concept!

My main reason for defining deafness as a "disability" is as above, the
otic system's ability to recognize auditory warnings of danger.

(Why else did hearing ever evolve, in so many creatures?)

Nowadays it may not be as critical to life as it once was, but it's
still going to take time for society as a whole to evolve to accept such
a change/difference from the "norm"(known comfort zone) -- and we are,
that's why we have "Hearing Aid Dogs", hearing aids, the written
word(paper, and computer), text-to-voice technology so you(et al) can
communicate with people who are illiterate.

 CH> This info needs to be known by the general public. So when they meet a
 CH> latent deaf/deaf or HOH (hard of hearing) person they might THINK
 CH> before
 CH> brightly well intentionally bringing the subject up. ((Especially to a
 CH> born deaf ("DEAF" ) person. You may as well stick your
hand into hot
 CH> fire...
 CH> Do us all us hearing impaired persons a favor. Don't. We already KNOW.

Not all do -- there are mobility-challenged people in our society who
are unaware that there are wheelchairs/scooters, and these are FAR more
well-known than C.I.s!

I think there's a dual responsibility:

1) on the part of the caring hearing person making sure the born-deaf
knows about all options available, to STFU quickly if the other's
response is anything but open!
2) on the part of the born-deaf confronted by a well-meaning person, to
politely/civilly acknowledge their intent to be helpful. . .

For myself, I can only use 1 hand/arm, so some things are more
difficult.

In a restaurant, I appreciate if the server ASKS me if I'd like some
help with whatever(eg. carrying tray, opening packets, etc.) but I do
find it annoying when they just ASSUME I'm incompetent and start DOING
it FOR me! (opening my ketchups, cutting my meat(usually all wrong!)

I'm a big boy, I've finally figured out that I'm allowed to request
assistance, when needed (I accept that people are just as much allowed
to turn me down, in whatever way is easiest for them (including
pretending not to hear until I give up) because they feel put on the
spot.

Nobody OWES me anything in this world (unless we've agreed to a
transaction and I've fulfilled my part but they haven't yet)

I know people in wheelchairs who DEMAND to be allowed to go first
(elevators, lineups, bus lineups, etc.) but I don't -- I know that it's
the social convention that I be allowed priority use of elevators, but I
recognize that they're public facilities, and if I'm not first in line,
then I may well have to wait my turn!

In lineups at the grocery store/etc. I tend to offer(insist sometimes)
for standing seniors to go ahead of me (I remember how
difficult/tiring/painful it was for me, when walking with a cane to wait
too long in lineups!)

I will also usually offer/insist that ladies go ahead of me (just
because I'm in a wheelchair doesn't mean I can't/shouldn't be a
gentleman!)

Yes, I know the feminut lobby says that this is demeaning behaviour by
me, but it's NOT -- only I know __MY__ motive/intent, and it's certainly
not treating them as lesser/weaker creatures -- it's an honour I accord
to that half of our species who may have or may one day have to go
through the danger/responsibility of pregnancy!

That, and because I tend to adopt an attitude of respect towards women,
because I hope to eventually meet the right one and convince her to sign
on for a lifetime intimate association with me, and she needs to feel
that there's going to be value for her in doing such!

See? Nothing putting down women at all -- and most, if they haven't
become brainwashed by the feminut lobby, APPRECIATE such tokens of
honour from the male sex!

(or, if they're lacking, will certainly view the male in question as
a lot lesser of a person, and "weak," in the social graces!)

It's funny, but the old truism holds true even today: "we hate most that
which we are"

 CH> I'm working on a witty comeback for next time. Any suggestions?
 CH> George?
 CH> you're my best bet with witty comebacks! :)
 CH>
 CH> How about...(someone Innocently asks : "have you heard of Cochlear
 CH> implants.....  "Why yes and  have you heard of frontal lobe
implants?"
 CH> 7Oh something like that...


I think that'd be inappropriate and definitely overkill and wouldn't go
any distance towards improving relations/communication between hearing &
non-hearing.  I consider myself a bit of an ambassador for all people in
wheelchairs -- if I act like an ahole, people will naturally have an
expectation of aholism from the next person in a chair they meet, and
it's going to make it harder for that person in a chair to get even a
fair shake, let alone a little extra consideration!

I've been a victim of others' not being so diligent -- a lady bus driver
continually refused to do her job to secure my chair with the supplied
straps -- finally it came to a head with a Supervisor showing up, and
she, apparently, whispered to him that the issue wasn't the nonhygiene
of the belts on the floor(deemed a legitimate complaint by the company
-- which is why they supply free gloves to all drives who want them!) as
she had told me, but she told the supervisor that "personal
hygiene"(ie "smell") was the problem -- so I directly asked the
supervisor, "Do you smell ANYTHING on me?  I don't leave the house
unless I'm washed up & in clean clothes!"  He got really uncomfortable
and begged me t write a letter to head office, as it works better coming
from me(passenger) than him. . .

I suspect what happened (because her issue with smell was certainly not
with me that day, or EVER!) is that some people in chairs are also
'cognitively-challenged'(I hate that phrase!) and may not know to clean
up properly(and/or are unable, and/or have toileting issues
(incontinence, filled diaper) and so she's built up a prejudice based on
that bad experience she had. . .

I'm not debating the rightness or wrongness of her attitude/response,
just pointing out that it IS natural and part of getting along with
other people is working together with their natural biases/preferences,
and having understanding for THEIR disabilities(even if they're not
defined by the AMA, nor some non-profit grants-receiving organization!)

I save angry responses for when it's important (life/death situations of
critical timing, and/or situations when the lesson to be taught is more
important than diplomacy/tact)

Think: what is it they're truly doing WRONG(ie. harmful) in politely,
out of a thoughtful/compassionate intent, asking if you now about this
[still] new techology?

I'll give an example of when I responded with anger to someone's
well-meaning intent, BECAUSE the lesson to be taught was most important.

Years ago, I was visiting one of those little store-front type community
churches (happened to be of the "Charismaniac" variety) and I was
walking with my cane.  A sweet lady asked me if she could pray for me, I
thanked her and acceded -- I'm sure her doing so made her feel good for
the day, and what the hell, it didn't do squat to me(or FOR me, but
whatever.. *G*)

Well, a week or two later I was back again visiting, and this same lady
comes up to me, rather upset with me, because I wasn't healed
(apparently my limping called into question her faith/etc.) so she
starts lighting into me about how my weak faith has left me crippled,
and unless I believed properly, I was going to STAY crippled.

Well, I know this type -- and I knew I was only the current victim of
her ignorance/insecurity, and that many others wouldn't be as able as I
to withstand it without psychological/emotional damage, so I turned on
the anger(just a WEE!) and turned on HER:

"Listen, lady, maybe you better take some classes & READ your Bible
instead of allowing it to collect dust so it can be showed off to your
guests how GOOD you are in having it out in the open!  Maybe you recall
a sermon where it was read/taught that Jesus said when you pray, pray
BELIEVING, and it WILL BE DONE according to how you ask! Do NOT attempt
to condemn ME because YOUR faith was too weak to heal me -- what are you
trying to do?  Jerk me around, lift up my hopes for nothing?  You are
blaspheming the Lord when you do that!"

Note: I certainly do believe in the power of healing prayers, as I have
been the redipient of miraculous healing in the past(at a time/situation
when healing was the best thing for me!)
So I certainly know the difference between the right kind and wrong kind
of prayer for healing!

I know you don't believe even the scientific evidence in favour of the
efficacy of genuine(faithful) prayer, but your disbelief in no way
changes the facts!

In her case, I deemed an angry direct response the most appropriate, to
save a lot of people a lot of grief, and my intent wasn't anger, it was
to help her be a better person and a better Christian(as that was the
milieu at the time)

 CH>  Yes but people don't take Biology and genetics anymore Wayne. Not
 CH> down in the deep south anyway and not unless they WANT to. So most
 CH> people wouldn't know what a gene is if their life depended on it or
 CH> they rely on the (coughing hacking choking) "christian science"
 CH> definition. (let's not go there and say we did.)

Funny thing -- even those who HAVE taken the courses, even at
post-secondary level, don't necessarily know squat!

Even the Piled-Higher&Deepers often lack true understanding of what they
speak!

The biggest problem, IMNSHO, is they specialize in an ever-narrowing
area, and there's a certain benefit in ignoring anything outside their
own range. . .

Thus, I, with no loonyversity credentials, sometimes can know more than
a particular PhD because I've read his papers AND his detractors, AND
those in related, but significantly different, fields

So I can spot inconsistencies that he's completely unaware of!

 CH> Social development does lag yes... and's lagging due to the fact
 CH> ignorance and willful stupidity seem to be dominant traits in human
 CH> beings.
 CH> Sell more papers too.

Yes, use the same identifier the homicide detectives use: "follow the
money(profit)" -- figure out where the profit angle/factor is & you'll
be best equipped to have your best opportunities at your fullest
success.

Take note of the immovable barriers, and go around them, under them, or
do something altogether different for a goal!

There's no value in tilting at windmills -- it might make for an
enduring tale and cliche, but that won't do you much good in achieving
your best possible life!

"If at first you don't succeed, try something easier" is my
philosophy(part of it, anyway!)

And/or "if at first you don't succeed, quit -- no sense being a damned
fool about things!" (I forget who said this one, but I liked it!)

Because I care,
<+]::-{)}  (Cyberpope(the Bishop of ROM!))


--- PPoint 1.76