TS> Subject:
TS>         MCRGO: Canada to Ban Wall-Hooks
TS>   From:
TS>         "David K. Felbeck" 
TS> Chatham, Ontario. The Chatham school system has removed all
TS> wall-hooks in all schools as a result of a terrible tragedy in
TS> which a boy strangled after being hung up by his clothes on a
TS> wall-hook on the wall of a school bathroom.
 Wouldn't it be more advisable to pass a law against picking up
 another person?  Or, is it impossible for school children there
 to learn the difference between a coat and a person wearing one?
 Of course, the cheapest solution would be to prohibit walls in
 schools, so that way there's no place to put up deadly hooks!
TS> .. Ms. Sarah O'Grady, president of Wall-hook Control
TS> International (WCI), is quoted as saying at a hastily called
TS> press conference in Chibougamau, Quebec, "If we can save just
TS> one child, everyone must make the sacrifice and do without
TS> wall-hooks." It is expected that Parliament will vote to ban
TS> these "instruments of destruction" throughout the country at an
TS> early date.
 Three cheers for the do-gooders!  May they never rest in exposing
 such dastardly hazards to human welfare.  
TS> Meanwhile, as a strictly precautionary move, the Royal Canadian
TS> Mounted Police have sent out SWAT teams to all hardware and
TS> department stores throughout the country to confiscate their
TS> stocks of wall-hooks.
 For the sake of Canada, I hope those mounties weren't trained by
 the U.S. BATF.  They could burn down everything west of Quebeck!
 (Though roasted, well done, the children would have been saved.)
TS> In a related publication of the Canadian Society of Physicians,
TS> Dr. Josh MacHellerman of the University of Moose Jaw has provided
TS> the results of a study sponsored by the Canadian Institute of
TS> Health's Center for Disease Control that has proven that in homes
TS> with wall-hooks people are 42 times more likely to die from
TS> wall-hooks than from use of wall-hooks for hanging clothing.
 Our new Surgeon General, Dr. Sasquatch (Well, Gore and Clinton both
 missed getting it right at the press conference called to announce
 his appointment!) probably made that information available to them.
 "Hands Across the Border," you know.  
TS> The Honorable Edward O'Kennedy, national minister of bridges,
TS> stated that he believes that possession of wall-hooks is a danger
TS> to society.
 With good reason, I might add!  Undoubtedly, it was a wall-hook at
 the entrance to that bridge which snagged his car and tossed it in
 the surf.  If they'd had a wall-hook law in Messychewsits, Mary Jo
 might be on Starr's subpoena list to testify against Ole Slick!
 (With profound apologies to the lady named, who deserved better in
 life than giving it up to protect a family's "name" reputation.)
... To silence criticism is to silence freedom.
 * Q-Blue 2.3 *
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