12-03-08 13:56: Ardith Hinton to James Bradley, "Insights...  4. (1/2) (1"

 AH>           Okay... I was thinking of some situations we've encountered
 AH> in which negotiating crowded aisles may be difficult.  When
 AH> Nora is using a cane rather than a wheelchair, as she often
 AH> does for short distances, others don't seem to grasp the
 AH> idea that she's a bit unsteady on her feet.  Maybe they
 AH> don't expect to see a young person with a cane.  I had no
 AH> problem that way when I used one, but she doesn't have my
 AH> grey locks & "Don't try it!" schoolteacher glare.  ;-)

You had to foster that grimace for years, before it could commune your
intent?  

I've been trying to go short distances without my stick, lately. Now and again,
I find myself harrumphing as I pick something up off the ground, and I realize
other patrons don't have that visual cue. It *is* natural, that someone without
exposure to limitations and the compensations to deal with them, might find me
odd. 

I think Nora's profile - as the nose and hairline round a corner - parlay a
more capable image in the other patrons?


 AH>  the candlestick maker
 JB>  Cripes... I recall only one of those proprietors...

 AH>           That was a figure of speech... as I'm sure you

Ya... I've heard it before, but to juxtapose it to todays travels, made me
think. I know the pawnshop employee, and the grocer's cashier better than the
farmer that feeds the chicken I eat. Given another time or place...

 AH> know!  Synecdoche, or possibly metonymy??  In an earlier
 AH> lifetime it would have actually mattered to me which was
 AH> which.  In this lifetime I'm writing in a public forum & I
 AH> prefer not to announce to the world at large who we do
 AH> regular business with....  :-)

Senicot, or monotony... It's still Greek to me.  
(Yes, I had to look them up. B-)

 JB>  I've been concerned that I'm becoming that bitter old
 JB>  cuss, and then a study came out that they live longer.

 AH>           Well... I wouldn't put it quite that way, but
 AH> what I hear you saying is along the same lines as what
 AH> Bernie Siegel said.  You can hold bitterness & resentment
 AH> inside, and let them manifest themselves in physical
 AH> illness later, or... for example... you can blow off steam
 AH> in the SURVIVOR echo.  Once you've acknowledged your
 AH> "negative" feelings, you can use them productively....  :-))

Is *that* what I'm doing!?!  No wonder why I keep coming back!


 JB>  Of course she thought the work I was doing was worthless,
 JB>  or at least not as important as turning the water on and
 JB>  off all afternoon. 

 AH>           The work she's doing... learning what happens when she turns
 AH> the tap on & off, and learning that not everybody is willing to
 AH> do it for her... is an important part of her growth &
 AH> development.  Maybe she's not mature enough yet to realize
 AH> your work is also important to you.  But this way, you can
 AH> acquaint her with the facts of life & still get things done
 AH> around the house... [grin].

She *is* quite a character. Of course, she is testing how far I can be bossed
around. Last time, I reminded her of the water tap discussion we had earlier
this summer. "Ya, but..." "I don't know how I would tie a
swing out of that
rope, but I can teach you how to tie a noose." 

We settled, that I would tie a couple of foot-loops into it, and she could
still swing on it, or hang herself. (Actually, only a few inches off the
ground, but we had a good chuckle over it.) It was up to her. [-|


 AH> yours.  I felt glad to be alive the morning after our car
 AH> slid gently off the road around Lake Watcom
 AH> ... and the tiny sapling which kept it from falling 200 yds. downhill
 AH> into the river continued to do so as I crawled gingerly out the
 AH> door on the other side. But the circumstances were
 AH> different & I was younger then.  Nowadays I'm a lot

Yes, I too am glad that sapling held you out of the ravine, at *least* so long
for you to egress on the safe side. I take it, it held on long enough for you
to tow the machine out of the abyss, so saving you the cost of a new vehicle,
registration, and the song and dance required to insure a new ride? The rest is
"gravy."

 AH> mouthier than I used to be, and I must confess I rather
 AH> enjoy it sometimes!  I took longer to get to that point
 AH> than the kid in my anecdote.  There's a sense of freedom in
 AH> being able to give oneself permission to speak openly
 AH> regardless of what triggered the decision.  He may be
 AH> thinking "Ah... what can they do to me that's worse than
 AH> spending six weeks in a pediatric oncology ward??"  In my

They must grow up fast. 

 AH> case that was undoubtedly a contributing factor.  Another
 AH> was reaching a stage where many people find a bit of grey
 AH> hair gives them credibility... where they are comfortable
 AH> with themselves... and where it no longer matters to them
 AH> what roles other people expect them to fill.  I don't have
 AH> to worry about losing my job any more.  Nobody else wants
 AH> it.  At last, I can do things my way....  ;-)

I think I have a tagline that is appropriate. Well... A little appropriate,
anyway.

PS: Woops... It got lost in an accidental scroll lock-quagmire. Something like,
"Try not to be irreplaceable. It circumvents your promotion."
 
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