George,

 GP> The mayor asked: "Do you have a blue Mexican?"

  Directed by Jose' Jalapeno on a stick. 

 GP> Every morning for years, at about 11:30, the telephone operator in a
 GP> small  Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact
 GP> time. One day  the operator summed up nerve enough to ask him why the
 GP> regularity. "I'm foreman of the local sawmill," he explained. "Every
 GP> day I have to blow the whistle at  noon so I call you to get the exact
 GP> time." The operator giggled, "That's really funny," she said. "All this
 GP> time we've been setting our clock by your whistle.

   Time is of the essence. 

 GP> Q: What is the slowest & most painful way to die? A: Life.

   Life a fatally transmitted disease.

 GP> Q: Why are 0 and 1 the only numbers with genders? A: All the others are
 GP> non-binary

   Your punny days are numbered.

 GP> My new favourite:
 GP> Q: What do you get when cross a gun with the female pudenda? A: A
 GP> re-vulva

   Never mind starting from scratch. :P

 GP> In the UK "tuppence" refers to a small amount of money and is shorthand
 GP> for a  woman's pussy. In the US Trump-Pence involves a lot of money and
 GP> describes a  pair of d*cks. (Mr. Nixon must be proud)

   I tell you what.

 GP> -= 5 =-
 GP> At a Long Island house party, a chap invited an attractive girl to go
 GP> fishing with him on the Sound. After an hour without any luck, he
 GP> asked, "Do you think we ought to try chumming?" His companion, a novice
 GP> at fishing, looked toward the house on the distant shore, then replied,
 GP> "We might as well. They can't see us from there." --John C. Miller
 GP> RD Issue: July 1957

   Really.

 GP> -= 6 =-
 GP> King Charles will not make as many foreign visits as Queen Elizabeth
 GP> did.

 GP> Because the Queen could go any distance but the King can only move one
 GP> space at a time.

   Check, mate. 

 GP> -= 7 =-
 GP> Terrible night. Dreamt something bit me on the neck. Got up to check,
 GP> but the  mirror wasn't working.

  Must've been made by ACME.

 GP> -= 8 =-
 GP> In medieval times, people used to attach a lamp to a horse when riding
 GP> at  night. This is the earliest known form of saddle light navigation.

  Then, the fireflies took it and minaturized it.

 GP> -= 9 =-
 GP> Accidentally drunk a bottle of invisible ink.

 GP> I'm now in hospital waiting to be seen.

  It may take awhile either way.

 GP> -= 10 =-
 GP> I've just joined a dating group for arsonists.

 GP> It's great; they send me new matches every day.

  Now, we know who's hot stuff.

Daryl

... "Calvin, we will NOT have an anatomically correct snowman!" -Calvin's Mom
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