> If I get too warm, I get queasy. I've got a small portable fan that runs
> on AA batteries that I can wear around my neck overnight, or if power is
> out.

Good plan; I have a larger battery operated fan on my desk here that also has a water reservoir, so I can spritz a bit on my face while the fan is blowing. . .

For travel, when in my wheelchair, I have a handheld portable operated by  squeezing the handle a few times. (saves on batteries)

>> Not fun that Cali uses up more electricity than anyone else, while
>> claiming to  be ecologically superior to the rest of the country(&
>> world)
> They're wanting to get rid of gasoline cars, but they don't want folks
> charging their electric cars. So, I guess they want everyone to stay home.

Then there's nobody to go to the fields & pick lettuce, so they hire the  Mexicans to come up & do it, & nobody wants that either -- that's okay, SoCal,  starve -- then EVERYONE can look like a model or actress!


> ... The views that are expressed in this message aren't mine.

Nor mine

Mother: What shall we name him?

Father: His name is Mike.
(drops baby)

I apologize for this wall of text, I didn't know where I should cut out parts  because they're all relevant to the story. Sorry again.

Hey TFR people! So for background, I work at a kiosk in a mall where I repair  cracked phones and do other mind numbing work that I can now probably do in my  sleep. I've been doing this job for a little over two years and can fix an  iPhone, for example, in about 15 minutes. I apologize for the wall of text.  Anyway, this story happened last night.

So, a family of three walk up (mother, father and daughter) but only the father spoke to me and this is where conversation starts. Note: When I was handed this girls phone she had a case with this image on it and was already about to  laugh. Customer will be C and I of course will be Me.

C: How much does it cost to fix my daughters phone and can it be fixed?

Me: Oh it's very repairable, after tax and labor, it comes to $xxx.xx.

C: Do it

Fuck, he's one of these guys...

Me: Alright then, I just need a name and signature on this disclaimer we have.

At this point, I've taken their phone and am prepping to work on it.

C: Do I have to use my real name?

PAUSE Now, over the 2+ years I've worked here, I have never heard this 
question. So I was kind of taken by surprise by it. For a minute, I thought he  was one of those paranoid people. PLAY

Me: Um.. Well I guess you don't have to. It's preferred since we can look you  up in our system faster later.

C: Oh ok.

I turn back around and start to use my tools on the phone when customer guy  throws me another curve ball question.

C: Can my daughter still play the piano when this is done?

I manage to turn and see him smirking a little and go back to his serious poker face so I pick up that he's joking.

Me: Well I would hope so. Slight laughter

C: Oh ok great! She's never even touched one before so it's good to hear her  skill won't change in the slightest.

I'm on the verge of outright laughing at this point. I manage to hold it back  and finish my repair. I snap her grumpy cat case back on, hand her phone back  when she mentions the home button isn't working.

Oh that's an easy fix

Me: Ah, don't worry. Give me one second and I'll have that fixed.

C: One. Try it now "Insert girls name"

Me: Haha well I haven't done what I need to yet.

I pull out a giant clear bag half full of spare parts.

C: Holy shit man!

I burst out laughing at this point. I take what I need and fix her home button. Afterwards, I just ask for a signature to confirm they are satisfied with the  repair and that they picked up their phone. While he does this (It's taking an  oddly long time to just sign his name) I tell him how much it'll be again, take the paperwork from him so I can do the usual "Have a good night Mr. so and so." I briefly glance at the document so I can catch his last name. He's already  handing me the cash by now and this is where I lost it.

Me: Alright, that'll be $xxx.xx. Thank you and you have a good night Mr. Duck.

I'm looking at this man dead in the eyes at this moment when my voice trails  off as I finished my sentence. I look back at the paper to make sure I read it  right. Lo and behold, there it was.. "Donald Duck." He had tried to sign as  Donald Duck before, messed up, scribbled it out and wrote "Thank you!" instead. I'm so close to laughing. I can feel it building up but I have to play on this.

Me: Sir, I'm going to have to hold you here while I call mall security.

Completely taken aback by this

C: What?! Why?!

Me: Sir, I've met Donald Duck. He's a giant duck in a sailor type getup with no pants. He works and lives in Florida. You are no Donald Duck. I have reason to  believe you have stolen his identity. I'm holding back so much right now  because I want to make it seem serious.

C: FUCK! He's onto us!

I fucking lost it when he said that. The daughter is facepalming, the mother is just standing there with a "what the fuck?" look on her face as the father  hauls ass out of there and rounds the nearest corner. I'm nearly on the floor  laughing by now. I still haven't rung them up at this point and when I calm  down I look at the wife.

Me: I've never laughed so hard in the entire time I've worked here. I'm  discounting this sale by $35 (this is the most I can take off. Some of it being the labor fee that gives me commission). Y'all are the best customers I've ever had.

She thanks me starts laughing and takes her still facepalming daughter with  her.

TL;DR Had a customer who stole Donald Ducks' Identity.

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6