From Newsgroup: alt.tv.star-trek.tos
From Address: jwsdisney{at}bellsouth.net
Subject: Dating Seven of Nine [ humor ]

I have always wondered how SEVEN OF NINE would react in today's social situations.
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So I paraphrased some memorable quotes from VOYAGER episodes, and used them
as reactions to a few pickup lines, cliches, and other phrases..
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** A Man approaches Seven of Nine ***
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MAN: Did the sun just come up or did you just smile at me?
SEVEN OF NINE: Perhaps your visual subroutines are malfunctioning. 
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MAN: [handing SEVEN OF NINE some roses] Here's a rose for my beautiful flower.
SEVEN OF NINE: Thank you. I'll admire them later. 
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MAN: I've never met a woman like you before. 
SEVEN OF NINE: There are no women like me! 
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MAN: You must be the reason men fall in love.
SEVEN OF NINE: Intriguing but implausible. 
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MAN: You may have noticed that some of the crew seem a bit on edge when
you're around. 
SEVEN OF NINE: I was Borg. I elicit apprehension. 
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MAN: The lily and the rose are staging a competition on your face. 
SEVEN OF NINE: Clarify. 
MAN: The fullness of your lips and the paleness of your cheeks -- it's
enough to make a man faint. 
SEVEN OF NINE: Then, in that case, perhaps we should sit down.
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MAN: What do you do with your spare time? 
SEVEN OF NINE: Regenerate. 
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MAN: You're funny!
SEVEN OF NINE: I understand the concept of humor. It may not be apparent,
but I am often amused by human behavior.

** LATER AT DINNER -- **
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SEVEN OF NINE: These nutritional supplements are unacceptable. 
MAN: What would you like for dinner?
SEVEN OF NINE: The consumption of nutritional biomatter. 
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MAN: I'm a man. You're a woman.
SEVEN OF NINE: Is that an observation or a diagnosis? 
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MAN: Why don't we go back to my apartment?  
SEVEN OF NINE: Remove your hand or I will remove your arm! 
MAN: I'll think about it.
SEVEN OF NINE: Think quickly.
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MAN: Teach me about love.
SEVEN OF NINE: Perhaps there's something to be said for assimilation, after all. 
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MAN: Do you want to make babies? No?  Then do you want to practice?
SEVEN OF NINE: I am familiar with the physiological processes of sexuality. 
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SEVEN OF NINE: Nevertheless, I am willing to explore my humanity. Take off
your clothes. 
MAN: Are you coming on to me?
SEVEN OF NINE: I assure you, resistance is futile. You must comply.
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SOME TIME LATER.....
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MAN: Good morning. 
SEVEN OF NINE: That remains to be seen. 
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MAN: Was it good for you?
SEVEN OF NINE: It was acceptable.
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MAN: You're very particular about who you choose to spend time with, Seven.
SEVEN OF NINE: You do possess... commendable qualities. 
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MAN: I want to get to know you.
SEVEN OF NINE: Acquiring knowledge is a worthy objective. But its pursuit
has obviously not elevated you. 
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MAN: Don't you realize that I love you?
SEVEN OF NINE: An attraction based on sexual desire, one that facilitates
procreation. 
MAN: I guess I'm asking the wrong person. 
SEVEN OF NINE: Not at all. The Borg have referenced this condition in over
6,000 assimilated species. 
MAN: Condition? You make it sound like a disease. 
SEVEN OF NINE: Physiologically, it bears a striking similarity to disease.
A series of biochemical responses that trigger an emotional cascade,
impairing normal functioning. Get well soon.
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[SEVEN OF NINE begins to leave the room]
MAN: You are leaving me?
SEVEN OF NINE: Simplistic, but accurate.
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MAN: But we've only just met!  Are you afraid of commitment?
SEVEN OF NINE: This debate is pointless.
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MAN: But... why are you leaving?
SEVEN OF NINE: I must discontinue this activity. I am not well.
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MAN: Will I ever see you again, my beautiful angel?
SEVEN OF NINE: That is highly unlikely, since religious metaphors are irrelevant.
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MAN: Oh, well, I suppose there are more fish in the sea.
SEVEN NINE: Perhaps you should confine your efforts to that location.
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