George,

 GP> That hold the btton thing isn't uncommon -- I can't stand them.

  Well, apparently it has a deal with 3 light levels. But, after Amazon
sent a nasty letter that one of my reviews didn't meet their guidelines,
I removed my logon credentials from the system. I also had a bad experience
with eBay awhile back, and don't use them anymore, either. I've gotten so
where if I can't get it locally, I do without it.

 GP> I get that with my clients when I say the same thing.  They as what
 GP> they just  agreed to & I say, "Basically not to use the program to hurt
 GP> the developer in  any way & not yo use it to be an arsehole in general,
 GP> plus 140 pages of random  boilerplate."

  Lawyer: One who calls a 140 page document a brief. :P

 GP> We buy the AA in boxes of 128 -- all laid out when open, & easy to pick
 GP> out as  needed -- nice & neat to put away until needed. Got the same in
 GP> AAA recently,  as we use both.

  I've got more AA than AAA, but you never see an A or B battery...but you
have C and D. Then, you have the other small circular batteries for things
like hearing aids.

  Speaking of which, that reminds me of the joke where the old woman in
church tells her husband "I just let an SBD fart!!", and her husband told
her "Gladys, I told you that you need to change the batteries in your
hearing aids!!". :P

 GP> We have that forehead thermometer, too. . . I gave up on the cheapo
 GP> portable fans, as they no longer have the reservoir  ones where you can
 GP> spritz yourself with water through the fan, making as nice  spray on
 GP> your sauteeing face.

  That small neck fan does the job for me, especially at night. I don't
have it blowing directly on my face, but passing air (that sounds risque,
doesn't it? ) to the rest of my anatomy.

 > The substance of reality is BS -- but cows do as well, and they don't
 > brag about it. 

 GP> Yup. . . the women love that one!

  When my late wife had a deal with flatulence, she'd always "excuse
herself in advance". Then, when the methane stench got to our nostrils
(an indication of the trillions of bacteria in one's gut doing their
work to help digest the food), we'd say "That was a full grown adult
yipe, and it wasn't on disability!!"...and be laughing like mad. 

  There was a study done where it was determined that everyone farts...
from as little as 15 times a day, to as much as 20 times an hour!! I
wonder how much of our tax money was spent to determine that?? But, I
also heard they were going to do a study on second hand flatulence; yet
they couldn't get any volunteers. :P

 GP> I saw a post on FB of Twitter screenshots where women were talking
 GP> about how  much they love their man's colon -- the musky manly smell
 GP> especially. . .

  Ewwww!! That takes brown noseing (sp?) and face farts to a whole new 
level. :P

 GP> Nope -- what is DRE in this context? Digital Rectal Examination? I've
 GP> never  heard it called a D.R.E. Just colonoscopy (or rectal endoscopy)

  In this case, Digital Radio Enthusiasts for the ham radio net...but it
is digital rectal examination for the prostate check. Several years ago,
there was a new process called Urolift, approved for men with enlarged
prostate (benign prostatic hyperplasia or BPH). What they do is strip 
you down and sedate you (obviously), then go up through the penis and
urethra to the prostate. Then, this device puts these clips on the lobes
of the prostate to hold them back, so the flow of urine out of the bladder
isn't blocked (which is a medical emergency). The benefits of this Urolift
deal are:

1) No cutting, burning, or surgery on the prostate
2) No catheter
3) No erectile dysfunction
4) No overnight hospitalization

  You will have pain and burning on urination for around 2-4 weeks, and 
maybe some blood in the urine for a few days...but medication can be
prescribed for the pain, burning, and urgency. Yet, in 2 weeks, you will
notice a difference, where you aren't having to get up at night and "pee
a lot of nothing". The procedure is MRI conditional, though...so, if you
have to undergo an MRI afterwards, precautions must be taken. Now, if you
drink a lot of liquid after 5pm, you can expect to be "peeing in the
night". As the late Red Skelton noted, "Tinkling in your pants is like
friendship. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its true warmth". :P

  I originally was elated with that surgery, but a bladder stone lodged
in one of the staples from the Urolift. So, they had to "undo it", and
then do a TransUrethral Resection of the Prostate (TURP), where they cut
out the center part of the prostate. I don't know why they just didn't
take it out, since I had a vasectomy done nearly 20 years ago.

 GP> Either way; some people use coffee to break constipation & to time
 GP> their  morning poops.  I have no timing control for my nether dumps --
 GP> when it's time, it's time -- so inconvenient!

  Caffeine will move ones bowels...but what caffeine I get now is from
the chocolate chip cookies with M&M's in them. I have to have something
for my sweet tooth...and to me, a meal isn't complete without dessert.

 GP> Knew a guy in a care home I was taking a class at, who had a pet
 GP> cockatiel.  He'd go out on the patio, hold the bird over the storm
 GP> drain & say, "Poop,  Sid!" & danged if that bird didn't squeeze one
 GP> out!

  Wow. I saw a meme, where it was a very cold day, and you could see
the steam coming out of the birds butt as he farted.

 GP> A presidential hopeful was wondering why everyone thinks he's a bird
 GP> enthusiast. His manager aid, "Well, you did say, during your San
 GP> Francisco stop that you've kissed a cockatoo."

  Sounds like more than one pecker. :P

  I had forgotten last night was the second Tuesday, and it was time for
a Windows Update. Then, there was a potential for storms overnight. When
I went to try to bring things back up Wednesday morning, I couldn't
connect to the internet, which shut everything offline. I thought the
router had been fried by one of Microsoft's Updates (it wouldn't surprise
me), so I spent nearly an hour resetting and reprogramming the router for
the LAN. I seem to have done everything right, as it looks like all is
working now.

Daryl

... "AEIOUEIAUO" - sorry, I have uncontrolled vowel movements.
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