* Crossposted from: L|Chat
 >>> Part 1 of 3...
 Here's somthing I thought I would share with you all..enjoy...
 
The Darwin Award.
The Darwin Award is made each year to the person who has done the most to
improve the human gene pool by killing themselves in the most bizarre way
imaginable, and therefore preventing the survival of their genes.
Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he
was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, the aviator who
strapped a JATO(Rocket) module to his car and lit the blue touch paper,
and last years lawn chair aviator that tied 45 helium balloons to his lawn
chair and cut himself loose..
NOMINATIONS:
1.A San Anselmo man died yesterday when he hit a lift tower at the mommoth
mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad, authorities
said.  Matthew David Hubal, 22, was pronounced dead at Centinela Mammoth
Hospital.  The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriffs
Department said.  Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run
called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from the lift
towers, said Lieutenant Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police
Department.  The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit the towers.
The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal
crashed into a tower.  It has since been investigated that the tower he
hit was the one with its pad removed.
2.  Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St.  Louis
market.  When the clerk threatened to call police, Puelo grabbed a hot
dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying for it.  Police
found him unconscious in front of the store: paramedics removed the
six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had choked trim to death.
3.To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above him on an
overhanging rock-and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
4.  A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down,
triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and tongue, state
police said Wednesday.  Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting
cap as a prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl.  M.D.  Payne.
"Another man had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and was trying to
explode it," Payne said.  "It wouldn't go off end this guy said, 'I'll
show you how to set it off." "He put it in his mouth and bit down.  It
blew all his teeth off, his tongue and his lips," Payne said.  Stromyer
was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries,
according to a spokesman at Charleston Area Medical Division.  "I just
cant imagine anyone doing something like that," Payne said.
5.  Doctors at Portland's University Hospital said Wednesday an Oregon man
shot rough the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive, and will be
released soon from the hospital.  Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye
last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men
Anonymous, in Grants Pass, Ore.  A friend tried to shoot a beer can off
his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right eye.  Doctors said had the
arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have cut
and Roberts would have died instantly.  Neurosurgeon Dr.  Johnny Delashaw
at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10
inches of brain, with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet
somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels.  Delashaw also said had
Robert tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed
himself.  Roberts admitted afterwards he and his friends had been drinking
that afternoon.  Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No charges
have been filed but the Josephine County district attorney's office said
the initiation stunt is under investigation.
6.  A woman named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws,
and while there, went to a store.  She parked next to a car with a woman
sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently
sleeping.  When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her
hands still behind her head but with her eyes open.  The woman looked very
strange, so Linda tapped on the window and said "Are you okay?  " The
woman answered "I've been shot in the head, and I am holding my brains
in." Linda didn't know what to do, so she ran into the store where store
officials called the paramedics.  They had to break into the car because
the door was locked.  When they got in, they found that the woman had
bread dough on the back of her head and in her hands.  A Pillsbury biscuit
canister had exploded, apparently from the heat in the car, making a loud
explosion like that of a gunshot, and hit her in the head.  When she
reached beck to find what it was, she felt the ugh and thought it was her
brains.  She passed out from fright at first, then attempted to hold her
brains in!
7.  From a radio program, a true report of a happening in Michigan, USA.
A guy buys brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee for $30,000 and has $400+ monthly
payments.  He and a friend go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are
frozen.  These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with the guns, the dog,
the beer and of course the new vehicle.  They drive out onto the lake ice
and get ready.  Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area
for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on.  In order to make a
hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down
and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice hole
drill.  Out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of
dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.  Now these two Rocket Scientists do
 >>> Continued to next message...
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