Was listening to a mnix of album cuts of '70s music & '50 & '69s Comedy, &  Henny Youngman came on (such a delight, the "King of One-Liners" is!)

He covered a bunch in a theme (see below; you'll figure it out) & that made me  think of still others I've heard over the years. . .

Add in any you think of that aren't in this bunch, please?

& let me know how you're feeling, as you scroll down, & at what point you 
cracked out LOLing.

I've heard all these before, so I'm too blasé to do more than expel a little  extra air outen the side of my mouth & out my nares.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to  those places. - H.Youngman
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"Doctor, Doctor, there's an invisible man who wants an appointment; what should I tell him?"

Tell him I can't see him today.
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"Doctor, Doctor; it hurts when I go like this"
  Stop doing that.
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A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he  gave him another six months. --H.Youngman
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"Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a bell?" 

   Go home and take these and if you're not better soon, give me a ring.
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"Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pack of cards." 
  I'll deal with you in a minute!
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"Doctor doctor! I think I'm at death's door!"
  Don't worry, we'll soon pull you through
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"Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of wigwams!"
   Ah yes, the issue is you've become too tense.
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"Doctor, doctor! I get heartburn whenever I eat birthday cake."
   Next time take the candles off!
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"Doctor, doctor! I've got broccoli stuck in my ear!"
   Looks like you're not eating properly.
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"Doctor, doctor! Help me - I'm getting shorter and shorter!"
   You'll just have to be a little patient!
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"Doctor, doctor! Every time I drink hot chocolate I get a stabbing pain in my  eye."
   Try taking the spoon out first.
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"Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains."
   Oh, pull yourself together!
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"Doctor, doctor! I've lost my memory."
   When did this happen? 
"When did what happen?"
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"Doctor, doctor! People keep ignoring me."
   Next please! [booo, yes, i agree]
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"Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing ringing in my ears."
   Whatever you do, don't answer it! --H.Youngman
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"Doctor, doctor! I keep seeing insects spinning around me!"
    Oh yes, there's a bug going around.
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"Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a moth."
   You don't need a doctor, you need a psychiatrist! 
"I know, but when I was walking past your office I saw your light was on..."
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"Doctor, doctor! You have to help me out..."
   Of course. Which way did you come in?
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"Doctor, doctor! They've taken me off the cricket team, they all call me  butterfingers."
   Don't worry, what you have isn't catching.
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"Doctor, doctor! I've broken my arm in two places."
  Don't go to those places then. --H.Youngman
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"Doctor, doctor! I've only got 59 seconds to live!"
  Just hang on a minute, will you?
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"Doctor, doctor! I have a strawberry stuck in my ear."
   Don't worry, I've got cream for that!
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& another guy. . . what can I say? He's got a busy practice, Dr. Biddyboombah 
does.

"Doctor, doctor! Will this ointment get rid of these spots?"
  Now, now, let's not make any rash decisions here.
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"Doctor doctor, what happened to that man who fell into the circular saw and  had the whole left side of his body cut away?"
  He's all right now.
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"Doctor doctor, my spouse is deathly ill, is there any hope?
  it depends what you are hoping for
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"Doctor, doctor IĈm addicted to brake fluid"
  Nonsense man, you can stop any time
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"Doctor doctor, I couldn't drink my medicine after my bath like you told me."
  why not?
"Well after I've drunk my bath I haven't got room for the medicine"
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"Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."
  Pull yourselves together man.
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"Doctor doctor, I've got acute appendicitis."
 You've got a pretty little dimple too
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"Doctor, doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake."
  Sleep in another room then!
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"Doctor, doctor, can I have second opinion?"
  Of course, come back tomorrow!
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--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6