George,

 GP> I know abot his thing -- nearly 5,000 calories! Looks like it'd taste
 GP> delicious as all, but not worth it for me -- I'll try to fake it in
 GP> sallow oil in a  fryingpan -- dust some onion wedges with seasoned
 GP> flour & immerse & fry.

  You don't want to have your blood work drawn after grazing like that!!

 GP> I use the same ONE FORK when I eat. (I've washed enough dishes over the
 GP> years, even by then, to know that using fewer is always appreciated)

  If I can eat at home with paper plates and plastic silverware, and
disposable microwave cooked items, that means no dishes to wash.

 GP> Buyt if I didn't eat around 6,000 calories a day then I lost weight
 GP> from my  already nearly anorexic loknig frame.

  I need to lose weight, but it's easier said than done.

 GP> I smoked 30 strong cigs/day & walked anywhere from 10-80 miles a day,
 GP> all at a  fixed 6MPH pace.

  With the arthritis now, as well as the heat and insects, I don't do
good with walking outside.

 GP> I seriously got kicked out of an al you can eat Chinese buffet
 GP> restaurant  becaise Io'd pay my $5 & eat 78 plates of only meat, piled
 GP> high!

  That's exactly what happened to my brother and a friend of his years ago.

 GP> Oh come ON now, that was over 30 fleeping years ago -- will you people
 GP> EVER let this story die down?!  The money's all spent -- I even donated
 GP> a quarter of it  to various charities. Neve returned to that bar
 GP> again,. though, as resentment ran high from those who had helped
 GP> fill the jars.

  Especially when they found out how you won. 

 GP> Like the gas station cum diner sign said: "Eat here.  Get gas."

  Eat Beans -- America Needs The Gas.

  Or another sign that noted "We have gas and worms in the rear". :P

 GP> Why not grow a little garden patch? You can do it in containers or
 GP> raised beds  to put it at your height when sitting down, for safety, if
 GP> needed.

  I was never one for gardening...I do my gardening at Kroger. 

 GP> Indeed.  Ditto research (donate to cure cancer/AIDS/et al/etc); there's
 GP> no  money for researchers in cures -- only in research.

  They have to pay all the drug reps, and for their ads...that's why they're
so expensive.

 GP> Hecame to see me in the recovery (post-op/step doweb unit) room & said
 GP> I was  good to leave, they needed the bed.  I pointed out that the
 GP> cathetyer & stent  were sti9ll in my shmeckle. He wanted ME to pull
 GP> them out. I said, bnot from  this angle!

  Darn right!!

 GP> So her groaned & yanked everyuthing out in one fast rip, shredding the
 GP> nose  cone of my formerly well defined missile.

  Ouch!!

 GP> So I wasstucj at home, naked, with a dispensible juice jug nearby.
 GP> Naturally,  I started easing back on water consumption as I knew it
 GP> would hurt like a *pause* (*&^(*^(*^&(^*()&)!!! *unpause* when it
 GP> exited.

  Since I quit drinking carbonated beverages, I haven't had a single
kidney stone.

 GP> it hits airm, is perfectly hygienic & an excellent antiseptic)

  I've absorbed so much sanitizer that when I pee, I clean the toilet. 

 GP> I like being able to pee like a man -- that was MY first landmark
 GP> benchmark in  the hospital -- when I could stand up & pee normally
 GP> again, after my stroke.

  The little girls are so disappointed that they can't pee like Daddy
does. :P

 GP> Q: What do you get if you cross a donkey and an onion? 
 GP> A: A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye

  In a word, really. 

Daryl
 
... My ship finally came in, but I was at the airport.
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