George,

 GP> I've nbeen cutting my food intake drastically, as I know how rthe math
 GP> works;  if calories in < calories out, then I get fat. I cannot
 GP> exercise, as I'm half  paralyzed, so I need to make up for it by being
 GP> extra brutal on the inputs.

Doctor: Do you do any exercise??

Patient: Like what??

Doctor: Bend down and touch your toes.

Patient: If God had wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my
knees. 

 GP> Did you hear about the little native American boy who drank a gallon of
 GP> sweet  tea before bed? They found him the next morning, drowned in his
 GP> own teepee.

  I guess he wanted to keep his wigwam.

 GP> I showed up over dressed to a family member's party and my aunt spilled
 GP> sweet  tea all over my dress shirt. She solved my clothing problem Aunt
 GP> Jay: I'm so sorry I ruined your nice shirt! Me: You didn't ruin it, you
 GP> turned it into a tea-shirt for me!

  Tea-riffic.

 GP> Any time my brother or I order Sweet Tea at a restaurant, my dad says
 GP> "Did you  just call the waitress Sweetie?"

  Really.

Daryl

... My dolphin puns are terrible on porpoise.
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