George,

 GP> I've used that one -- generally posting publically on a BBS that I plan
 GP> to stay offline for the rest of the year (panic ensued with dozens of
 GP> other members  crying, "noooooo!" then dozens of others saying "calm
 GP> down & look at the date  he posted that!")

  The rest of the year has a bit more bite than the rest of the month. With
the season, is it meteorological or solar??

 GP> I do my part to keep y'all on your toes!

  Only if you're into ballet. 

 GP> You know it! A groan because it's sneaky, but should have been obvious
 GP> are my  favourites, but there's also0 the "Oh, that's so simple as to
 GP> be lame" groans & I don't count those ones; I just say, "Hey, hey only
 GP> get worse! Hold your hand  out if you want to redeem my double yor
 GP> money back guarantee"

  I had gone to the World Championship Pun-Off in Austin, Texas years ago
(I can't afford to do that now). It was where the humor was drier than the
Sahara. There were 2 competitions -- not sure which was more difficult.

1) Punniest Of Show - contestants had 60 to 90 seconds to read a skit or
do a routine. It could have one pun at the end, or be full of them. At 90
seconds, a bell would ring, and points would be deducted. At 2 minutes, a
second bell would ring, and the contestant was disqualified.

2) High Lies And Low Puns - 2 contestants would go head to head (that's
gonna leave a mark ), with a pun category. They knew the categories in
advance, but didn't know until they got up there, which one they'd be under.
One would have 5 seconds to make a pun, and the other one would have to do
likewise...but you couldn't use the same pun twice. Missing the 5 seconds
deal, or using the same one twice, got you disqualified.

 GP> If anyone enters a PG-rated jokes echo or forum, & gets offended, it's
 GP> their  own damned fault!

  So many folks nowadays are just prudes. While it'd be nice to have
everything squeaky clean, life's just not that way. A few werty derds
at times are OK, but not to where it's every other word. Then, you have
these women who think you get pregnant by osmosis.

 GP> College Greek houses like their 5-bean chili, do they?

  Weapons of M'ass Destruction.

 GP> Feel the burn!

  Every time you pee. 

 GP> Midget bowling? (where they throw the midget down the lane)

  Three strikes and the turkey is out.

 GP> Is there another way to get into the pool?

  Very carefully.

 GP> That's what SHE said! (when I pinched them) (remember that time Peanut
 GP> was saying that over & over again to everything  Jeff-fa-fa said?)

  In Peanut's Password Panic, where Jeff changed all the wi-fi passwords,
he talks about guys and girls names with the unneeded letter. Then, when
he got to the passwords, it was Jeff's version of the classic "Who's On
First?" routine.

 GP> I've cut back on my metamucil for a bit -- stuff's expensive!

  I started eating wheat bread and fig bars...works for me.

 GP> Been there. . . working on fixing these & doing quite well, I've
 GP> dropped 10 BMI points this past year, since April. ..

  I could give another acronym to BMI, but I feel crappy enough
already.

 GP> My doc told me to watch my waist, so I put it right out front where I
 GP> can  easily keep an eye on it. . .

  Exactly!!

 GP> My son's dream is to win that one day. . .

  I've devoured 4 cheese dogs in one meal, but that's enough. And, I eat
them daintily, taking my time. I don't want the meal coming back for 
seconds. :P

 GP> Not the La-Z Boy Lift-Recliner I recently bought, I found out -- the
 GP> max was  50# below my weight :( It doesn't operate so well now, forcing
 GP> me to do my own  lifting to get my carcass out & moving (sucks when I'm
 GP> trying to answer  Natrure's Holler)

  Or like the cartoon where there's this huge hole blown out of the back of
the recliner chair, with smoke coming out...and the guy's wife says "You
can't blame that one on the dog!!". 

 GP> What kind of phone do you have? I'll give you the directions to get
 GP> that app  off your phone quite easily! *G*

  I know how to zap it. I had to reformat the device last week, and then
reinstall all the apps.

 GP> There you go. . . I only caught the tail-end of his career, usually
 GP> only when  quoted on our local news that my dad watched faithfully
 GP> every night at 6pm. . .

  He was also an amateur radio operator.

 GP> Shouldn't it be cumulonimbi for the plural?

  Maybe cumulonimbi storms?? Or in one comic strip, they referred to
them as "columbus bimbos".

 GP> Tell every married man in Tornado Alley to refuse "mouth hugs" from
 GP> their  girlfriends, as tornado warnings & that action definitely
 GP> suggest that someone  is going to lose a house!

  In Arkansas, a tornado and a divorce have the same thing in common.
Either way, you're going to lose the trailer.

 GP> Me: "Wait, why don't you like icing? That's what makes cake so tasty!"
 GP> Him: stares at me intensely

  Or in homage to cake topping, Of Thee Icing. 

Daryl

... Of course I'm on topic!! What conference is this??!!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32