Welcome to another edition of the Metric Dozen Punnies & Funnies, personally  curated by yours truly, the Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM.

Please do comment as to which you loved & which you hated. . . 

Also, at any time, let me know if you're done with receiving these. Because  you're a mate, I won't even charge you my usual $19.00 cancelation fee! ;) 

-= 1 =-
~#~ via Joe Mackey on Fido's MEMORIES

Christmas Carols for the Psychotically Challenged:

 SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear?

 MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented Are

 DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

 NARCISSISTIC: Hark, the Herald Angels Sing About Me

 MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores
and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and . . .

 PARANOID: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

 PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout,
Maybe I'll Tell You Why

 DEPRESSION: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All Is Flat, All Is Lonely

 OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, ........ (better start again)

 PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On The First Day of Christmas My True Love
Gave To Me (and then took it all away)

 BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.

-= 2 =-
~# Also posted by Joe:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced
within the most enjoyable tradition

DISCLAIMER

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wis

-= 3 =-
You think the Omicron variant is bad? Because the next one will be 3.14 times worse.

-= 4 =-
Q: How does a politician go to sleep? A: First he lies on one side, then the other!!

-= 5 =-
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:

"Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?"

"No."

"So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead,  were you?"

"Well, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have  still been practicing criminal law for a living."

-= 6 =-
I auditioned for the WWE a few years ago under the wrestling name 'Paperman'.

I failed to get in though.

At the time Dwayne Johnson was the champion, and the bosses didn't want me  beating him.

-= 7 =-
IRS: According to your tax return you claim got money for nothin' & checks for 
free.

Taxpayer: Am I in trouble for that?

IRS: We'd say you're in dire straits.

-= 8 =-
I said I wouldn't pay them taxes because my money was my own.

Then they told me that technically speaking, it was all "the irs."

-= 9 =-
Skydiving's a good holiday. Don't even worry if your parachute doesn't open on  a jump -- you have the rest of your life to fix it!

-= 10 =-
CONTEST:
Why are 2022 silver dollars worth more than 2021 silver dollars?

Send your guess to me in private mail.

If you likewise guess what your prize for getting it right, is, you'll win it!

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5