George,

 GP> You sure? Platypi are kiund of cool -- you bug one & they don't "fahht
 GP> in your  general direction" but they can scratch you with their hind
 GP> leg spur & poison  you with the venom in it!

  Didn't know about the poison leg spur.

 GP> Thankfully it's been a while since I've called 911 & needed an
 GP> ambulance --  it's a pain in the benchwarmer!

  There's a new vehicle called the flatulance. It picks you up after you 
have been run over by a steamroller. 


 GP> Same; well, my XP PC died, & the new(free) one had Vista. . .

  The Windows Vista7Up Virus renders all legacy programs useless. I saw a
tagline the other day that noted "This virus requires Microsoft 3.1 to run".

 GP> They must think I'm very stupid.

  Or we're dumb enough to keep shelling out big bucks for their stuff.

 GP> So he was a visitor who didn't complete user reg properly? Couldn't you
 GP> just  refuse him entry until hedoes? Can'tyou do that across the board?
 GP> ("fulfill  these steps, or get no access to speak of"?)

  You'd think a Sysop would know better...this guy must've been paranoid.

 GP> Subpoena against him or from him?

  Never had a subpeona on the BBS, and it's my goal to not ever get one. I
have had a jury duty summons and a jury trial subpeona, but none were BBS
related.

 > Bam It! Ram It! Jam It! Cram It! 

 GP> The walrus version of Wham Bam, Thank ye, Maam?

  Basically. Or like the horny hare...you was doing that to every female
rabbit he could "Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma'am!". Well, he was so blinded
by his sex drive, that he saw this rabbit statue, and it became "Wham, Bam!!
Ahhh!! Damn!!" 

 GP> That's the politician, as a species, yup. . .& lawyers are just the
 GP> larval form for a politician.

  Yep.

 GP> Q: what's the difference between a dead skunk on the road & adead
 GP> politician on the road? A: Skid marks in front of the skunk

  Lawyers on a cruise in shark infested waters don't have to worry about
being eaten if they fall overboard. The sharks put them back on board
unharmed, as a professional courtesy.

 GP> Q: What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor?? A: An Optical
 GP> Aleutian

  Baringly, I can Sea that from the Fair Banks side of the water. 

 GP> Q: What is the opposite of a croissant? A: A happy uncle.

  Your sister had a baby, but we don't know if it's a boy or girl, so
I don't know whether you're an aunt or an uncle.

 GP> My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American. I saw
 GP> it coming from a kilometer away.

  We should support the Metric System every inch of the way.

 GP> Q: Why wasn't Cardinal Sicola ever elected as pope A: Because they
 GP> didn't want a Pope Sicola.

  He didn't want a Royal Crown, either (never mind an RC and a moonpie).

 GP> A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old
 GP> comb. He just can't part with it.

  Sounds like the Burma Shave deal:

  Beard on face, bald on top.
  Wish I could, rotate the crop.
  Burma Shave.

 GP> Q: What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer
 GP> from? A: Electile dysfunction

  They'll have a hard time explaining that one to voters...unless they're
feeling peckerish. :P

Daryl

... A Stud Muffin at 50 -- there's more muffin than stud. -Chondra Pierce
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