George,

 GP> Yup; I don't drink any of that {congress} any more! I never got into
 GP> energy  drinks, as I'm intolerant to the artificial hormone they often
 GP> include.

  That reminds me of the joke where the doctor was giving this woman 
testosterone shots (even males have some estrogen hormones). Well, she
told her doctor that they had a rather nasty side effect. He asked what
they were, and she said "It put hair on my chest". Then, he asked "How
far down does it go??", and she replied "All the way to my testicles". 

 GP> Sheltered upbringing? It's such an eleganbt way to convey the
 GP> sentiment, I  figure.

  That's like saying "the fecal excrement came in contact with the rotary
displacement unit".   

 GP> If you have anextraordinary difficulty in coming in to the office,
 GP> most primary care physicians will drop by to see their own patients,
 GP> if cajoled  well.  My company has hundreds of doctors available in our
 GP> network all over the world, who exclusively do housecalls for us, when
 GP> we dispatch them.

  Well, for the moment, I still have my car (transportation), and don't
have to rely on friends or Uber. However, if I'm undergoing an outpatient
procedure requiring sedation, then I have to get a ride. But, with most
all my friends working, and having a family of their own...or their own
health issues...it can be almost impossible to get a ride. Because of the
insurance and liability issues, you can not take public transporation 
(bus, taxi, etc.) to and from the clinic.

 GP> One of our guys even spent a full 16-hour day with our client, to
 GP> ensure he got the proper exams to clear him to fly home (to Europe)
 GP> that night.  We paid him  a big chunk more than the $400 he charges us
 GP> for a housecall I think we, on our own offer, gave him triple that.

  Good for you.

 GP> Some of those bone-ugly womemn can fake an outweard beauty that gets
 GP> your attention briefly, but wears off in minutes, after she begins to
 GP> speak.

  There's a video on YouTube of this couple...both veterans. They met while
in training, and she said "When I first saw him, I thought he was gorgeous"
(although I thought the term was 'handsome' for a man). Then, she said "When
he spoke, I thought he was a jerk"...and everyone in the studio (with them)
busted out laughing. Host Steve Harvey said it was like "You first saw him,
it was like 'Ah, yes!!'...then when he spoke, it was 'I'll be damned'". 

  But, there was a surprise waiting for this military couple, on a Veterans
Day show...their son, stationed overseas, had come home for a brief time. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ6Kp5UgLSU

 GP> Thus the proverb: Marry in haste -- repent in leisure

  The Apostle Paul also said "It is better to marry, then to burn with
passion".

 > Incontinence on both sides is a bear. Ever since I quit drinking soda
 > or carbonated beverages, I haven't had a single stone.

 GP> I quiot, but I still get near constant attacks of kidney stones.
 GP> Haven't gone  to the hospital for one in a long time, though.

 GP> When I get one bigger than the requisite 8mm, I set up the surgery for
 GP> it, &  go in just for that -- no more 3am ambulance trips for something
 GP> so prosaic as  "yet another" kidney stone.

  Ever since I quit drinking soda, I haven't had a kidney stone. I suspect
the carbonated beverages might have had something to do with it...but it
could've also been from oxylates (chocolate, etc.). But, the chocolate is
also loaded with caffeine, and like with iced tea, I had to give it up, as
it had accelerated my heart rate to 155.

 GP> That would be annoying.  Maybe he's a vampire.  One series of novels
 GP> I've read began with the heroine (Betsy) waking up in the morgue, &
 GP> being PO'ed because she realized she was dead & that her M-i-L had
 GP> stolen her expensive shoes, & left her wearing K-Mart specials instead!

  Bummer.

 GP> A favorite category of mine,. if they're new & funny.

  I saw a meme today that noted "I've absorbed so much hand sanitizer, that
whenever I pee, I clean the toilet". 

 GP> Boss, over intercom to lazing secretary: Can I see you in my office
 GP> She: No; you've got no windows in your office.

  LOL!!

 GP> According to a recent study, it's really hard for women to work for the
 GP> Postal Service. It's a mail dominated industry.

  But, a menopausal woman goes postal much quicker. 

 GP> Carpentry is hard work
 GP> That's why I get hammered after work

  It might knock some sense into you...or knock the loose screws back in
place. 

 GP> My wife had a hard day at work, so I drew her a warm bath... She didn't
 GP> really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge
 GP> anyway...

  She would freeze you out of a relationship, as she gave you the cold
shoulder.

 GP> Making mayonnaise is hard work.
 GP> Some would even call it egg-sauce-ting

  I'm too old to cut the mustard, but I can still stir the mayonnaise, and
lick the jar. So, pass the BLT, onion ring, and Doctor Pepper...and no one
gets hurt. 

 GP> Trimming hedges is hard work.
 GP> You must take it sheariously.

  It can be a real pain in the grass.

 GP> Would a job at a Viagra factory be considered hard work?

  Only if it gets a rise out of you.

Daryl

... "Either this man is dead, or my watch is stopped." -Groucho
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