> George,
>> I cut them out long ago! I only drank them when I was doing 12-hour
>> shift  work, as one rapidly drunk Coke did more to wake me up than the
>> speed with  which I could ingest caffeine via coffee.
> Since I cut out the soda and the caffeine, I haven't had kidney stones,
> and my heart rate has stabilized. Those "energy drinks" are worse than
> caffeine.

Yup; I don't drink any of that {congress} any more! I never got into energy  drinks, as I'm intolerant to the artificial hormone they often include.

>> "Feces occurs" is a maxim in every field.
> I said that to a co-worker one day years ago...and she looked at me with
> the deer in the headlights look. When I translated it, she roared with
> laughter, and said "I'm going to tell my sister!!". The next morning, she
> came in, and I asked her if she had told her sister. Grinning wildly, she
> said "yes", and when I asked "same reaction?", she said "yes". 

Sheltered upbringing? It's suchj an eleganbt way to convey the sentiment, I  figure.

>> I've found a housecall doctor or two in every city with an
>> intewrnational  airport in the USA. I believe LR has such?
> Not that I know. I did have a nurse from my HMO come by for a physical
> exam and interview this past September.

Iof you have anextraordinary difficulty in coming in to the office, most  primary care physicians will drop by to see their own patients, if cajoled  well.  My company has hundreds of doctors available in our network all over the world, who exclusively do housecalls for us, when we dispatch them.

One of our guys even spent a full 16-hour day with our client, to ensure he got the proper exams to clear him to fly home (to Europe) that night.  We paid him  a big chunk more than the $400 he charges us for a housecall I think we, on our own offer, gave him triple that.

>> The 3 Bs of Feminine Beauty: Boobs, Belly, & Butt (or is that 4?)
> Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. 

Some ofd those bone-ugly womemn can fake an outweard beauty thar gets tor  attention briefly, but wears off in minutes, after she begins to speak.

Thus the proverb: Marry in haste--repent in leisure

> Incontinence on both sides is a bear. Ever since I quit drinking soda
> or carbonated beverages, I haven't had a single stone.

I quiot, but I still get near constant attacks of kidney stones.  Haven't gone  to the hospital for one in a long time, though.

When I get one bigger than t he requisite 8mm, I set up the surgery for it, &  go in just for that -- no more 3am ambulance trips for something so prosaic as  "yet another" kidney stone.

> Or the guy who wakes up in the morgue, and wonders "If I'm alive, what am
> I doing here?? And, if I'm dead, how come I have to go to the bathroom??".

That would be annoying.  Maybe he's a vamp[ire.  One series of novels I've read began with the heroine (Betsy) waking up in the morgue, & being PO'ed because  she realized she was dead & that her M-i-L had stolen her expensive shoes, &  let her wearing K-Mart specials instead!

>> Police are looking for a man selling marijuana to birds. Eyewitnesses
>> report he left no tern unstoned.
> Nice spoonerism pun.

A favorite category of mine,. if they're new & funny.

> ... Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance??

I've been saying that for years! Then go ahead & work hard anyway!

Boss, over intercom to lazing secretary: Can I see you in my office She: No; you've got no windows in your office.

According to a recent study, itĘs really hard for women to work for the Postal  Service.
ItĘs a mail dominated industry.

Carpentry is hard work
That's why i get hammered after work

My wife had a hard day at work, so I drew her a warm bath... She didn't really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge  anyway...

Making mayonnaise is hard work.
Some would even call it egg-sauce-ting

Trimming hedges is hard work.
You must take it sheariously.

Would a job at a Viagra factory be considered hard work?

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5