George,

 GP> TMI, my friend!

  I'm sure I'm not the only person who deals with that on occasion.

 GP> I take medicine usually for gout, as my latest kidney stone type arte
 GP> uric acid-based. (living too well, thus eating more meat); trying to
 GP> stick to  exactly 4oz servings now (weighed out to 120g); seems to be
 GP> helping. . .

  Ever since I gave up carbonated beverages, I haven't had a single stone.

 GP> I got that message at 2am, your time & again at 10am your time --
 GP> seemed an  awful long time to say I'm getting too near 5am?

  There was a system glitch with the time...and there's another one where
the system won't busy itself out for nightly maintenance at 12 midnight,
so the doors can be processed. So, I have to manually down the nodes, until
maintenance is done.

 GP> I'm used to a BBS not allowing users on within 1 hour of an event (mail
 GP>  tossing, maintenance -- both usually done in the middle of the night).

  The 2 main events are the nightly maintenance (just after 12 midnight local
time), and a message base utility (at 5am local time). Otherwise, if there
aren't any storms, or power/internet outages, the BBS is up full time. I saw
where apparently Janis Kracht (who has done a ton of stuff in FIDONet over
the years) is having to shut her system down. People that were using her for
a FIDONet Echomail hub, are having to scramble to find a replacement network
connection.

 GP> Oh, I understand all that -- the timing just seemed odd -- I'd
 GP> understand if my time was reduced to no closer than an hour before the
 GP> event, but to abruptly  kick me out seemed harsh. . .  ;)

  Well, as noted, there is a glitch there, and I never did hear back from
digital man on the nightly maintenance deal...although the system said I
had a message from him in a certain area, but I never could find it.

 GP> Seems it would've been far cheaper to have a housecall doctor come see
 GP> you instead!

  Very few physicians, nurses, do house calls anymore. 

 GP> Talk to your insurance if you'd like to avoid hospital runs in the
 GP> future, for  a convenient visit in your home.  My company can generally
 GP> send one for about $400USD in most major cities (Little Rock qualifies

  Well, while I don't mind going to the doctor, I'd rather not go if I
don't have to. However, I've gotten so when I go into the clinic or to
my pharmacy, I go into my Ray Stevens impersonation of the old geezer
who said "It's Me Again, Margaret".  On a sad note, I saw where his
wife is apparently near death, and he is obviously devastated right now.
So, he has cancelled his shows for the time being, until things stabilize,
and after she's gone.

 GP> I called up Weight Watchers, told them there was an emergency and asked
 GP> for them to send someone round! Turns out theyÆve got tons of them!

  A balanced diet -- balanced in the belly and in the buttocks. 

 GP> Uh oh... Emergency: you brought me the wrong tool... This is not a
 GP> drill... I repeat, this is not a drill!

  Those are the 5 most feared words of an emergency communications
operator. That was also what was sent right after the Japanese bombed
Pearl Harbor just over 80 years ago.

 GP> For a taco emergency, dial Nine-Juan-Juan.

  When you've Don Juan, you've Don 'em all. 

 GP> Pro Tip: If you have a gashed wound, it is cheaper to go to a comedy
 GP> club than the emergency room. You just pay the cover charge and
 GP> they'll have you in stitches.

  The comedy can bleed you dry...because you peed on yourself.

 GP> "Fine then. Suture self."

  He had to tourniqet when the old qet went the wrong way.
  
 GP> I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency... I can teach
 GP> people a valuable lesson about assumptions.

  Never assume...besides, "OOPS!!" is NOT a valid response.

Daryl

... Truer words were never spoken; except in a courtroom.
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