> George,

 >  GP> Please do comment as to which you loved & which you hated. . .

 >   You asked for it. 

Fair dinkum, mate.

 >  GP> Also, at any time, let me know if you're done with receiving these.
 >  GP> Because you're a mate, I won't even charge you my usual $19.00
 >  GP> cancelation fee! ;)

 >   It'd have to come in an IOU on a wooden nickel. 

No idea where that expression began  -- I'd say don't take a wooden cent or
dime, too,. for that matter! Wooden dollars are okay, as paper money comes
from. . wood! (mostly linen(flax), actually)

 >  GP> "New research finds that people who are bullies are more likely to get
 >  GP> plastic surgery. Unfortunately, the nerds they bullied are more likely
 >  GP> to be plastic surgeons. 'Well, well, well, look who we have here!'"
 >  GP> -Jimmy Fallon

 >   Revenge is a dish best served cold.

or "scold" as the bullies are being schooled?

 >  GP> "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group
 >  GP> for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." -Drew Carey

 >   The Bar Exam: How much tequila you can drink before you hit the floor.

1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, floor.

 >  GP> "How long have you been wearing that bra?" the man asked his friend.
 >  GP> The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove
 >  GP> compartment."

 >   At least he didn't have the panties on as well. 

How do you know? & why are all these women leaving their underbritches behind,
anyway?! If I'm undressed somewhere (e.g. pool), I certainly get redressed the
same as I usually do -- with all compnents I started the day with, in their
usual place. I've never arrived home after a day at the pool or beach, looking
for my missing underwear!

But maybe the tramp in above story was marking territory?

 >   According to Walter (Jeff Dunham's dummy), it's legal to whale hunt in
 > Iceland. 

I'm guessing he was explaining why je wanted to take his wife on a vacation to
Iceland?

 >  GP> The man says, "We're getting new granite counter tops."

 >   Never take anything for granite. 

I pacifically axed you not to use that pun, I'm sure. . .

 > ... Don't lend people money. It causes amnesia.

If you lend somebody $20 & then never see them again, it was worth it.


My love for my wife is like the national debt.
It's enormous. It seems likes it's been around forever. It is growing every
day. It's something that will be passed onto our children and grandchildren.

My friend gets in debt and offers to work it off by redoing peoples' kitchens
but I wouldn't accept his counter offer.
(I never accept money from a counter fitter.)

Someone recently told me being $30,000 dollars in credit card debt was a bad
thing.
If it is such a bad thing, why does my bank statement say "outstanding balance"
below it?

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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