George,

 GP> Also, at any time, let me know if you're done with receiving these.
 GP> Because you're a mate, I won't even charge you my usual $19.00
 GP> cancelation fee! ;)

  A dime is a dollar with all the taxes taken out.

 GP> -= 1 =-
 GP> A young man has been experiencing pains in his abdomen so goes to visit
 GP> his GP. After some tests the doctor says, I've got your results back
 GP> and there's good news and bad news.

 GP> Ok doc, give me the bad news first. The doc says I'm afraid you have an
 GP> inoperable tumor in your bowel. It's terminal and you have around 3
 GP> years to live.

 GP> Cripes, doc, and the good news?

 GP> You also have Alzheimer's.

  I like the one where these 2 Christians are die-hard baseball fans. They
wonder if there is baseball in Heaven...so they figure whichever one dies
first, they'd somehow get the word back to the one left behind.

  A few months later, one of them dies...but it's several weeks before he
hears from his departed friend. He asked "What can you tell me??". His
friend said "I've got good news, and I've got bad news".

  He said "Give me the good news first". He said there are gold bases,
diamonds, everything, and no worry about getting your uniforms dirty.
Plus, the concession stands have every holsum food and drink you could
ever want".

  His friend replied "Well, that is good news. But, there can't be any
bad news in Heaven"...to which he was told "they're going to call you
to the bullpen in 30 seconds". 

 GP> -= 2 =-
 GP> Speaking of Arizona, I never mesa butte I didn't like.

  It's more like arid zone-a in the dry heat.

 GP> -= 3 =-
 GP> Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
 GP> Yup, he pasta  way.
 GP> We cannoli do so much
 GP> His legacy will become a pizza history.
 GP> He simply ran out of thyme.
 GP> I know, I know... too cheesy!

  Hey, macaroni. 


 GP> -= 4 =-
 GP> Funny flight attendant
 GP> https://youtu.be/1AE_hjOLDtU

  The ones for Southwest Airlines are an absolute scream. When
I traveled, I preferred the train...but if I had to fly, I went
Southwest Airlines.

 GP> -= 5 =-
 GP> 1963 Camp Granada Song--Allan Shermam
 GP> https://youtu.be/4yFTOvO0utY

  Hello to your parents. :P

 GP> -= 6 =-
 GP> A 10-year-old girl asked her mother, "Mommy, how was I born?"

 GP> The mother smiled and replied, "Once upon a time me and your daddy
 GP> decided to plant a wonderfruyl little seed.  Daddy put it in the Earth
 GP> and I took care of it ever single day.

 GP> After a while, the seed begabn t o grow more & more leaves and in a few
 GP> months it turned into a beautifo healthy plant.

 GP> So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it, and got so high we forgot to
 GP> wear a condom.

  Would a puny prophylactic be known as a condom-minimum?? 

 GP> -= 7 =-
 GP> One rainy Halloween in an introvert's home:

 GP> Friend1: What is that around your ankle?
 GP> Friend2: A house arrest bracelet.
 GP> F1: OMG! Why? What did you do?
 GP> F2: Nothing. It's fake.
 GP> F1: Why on earth would you wear a fake house arrest ankle bracelet?
 GP> F2: Ask me if I want to go to a party tonight?
 GP> F1: Umm, okayyy. Wanna go to a party tonight?
 GP> F2: Can't. *points to ankle*

  Was he blonde??

 GP> -= 8 =-
 GP> ~# via Facebook #~
 GP> [InspireU] Portering Troubles

 GP> I love this reminder from Elizabeth Gilbert:

  That was nice.

 GP> -= 9 =-
 GP> Allan Sherman's "Dad Hates the Beatles"

 GP> https://youtu.be/Jj-2Tcuzy0I

  Ringo wasn't the Starr. 

 GP> Where were you in this Beatles vs parent equation, in 1964 & onwards?

  I had a 45 RPM record years ago called "Beatlemania" with several
clips of their songs, worked together in an interview.

 GP> -= 10 =-
 GP> If you haven't experienced the family safe humour & music of Tim
 GP> Hawkins yet, do as I did, & hunt up ALL his amazing songs!
 GP> Here's a nice sampling:
 GP> https://youtu.be/yTrXAtIdrBY

  I'm too tired to do so tonight. I just finished the ham radio traffic
nets...my eyes are burning...and my legs are cramping. So, as soon as I
finish this QWK packet, I'm going to try to get some sleep.

Daryl

... Never marry a tennis player; to them, love means nothing.
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