George,

 GP> Hpefully he wasn't usding paedo slamg: chickenmeat means an underage
 GP> lad.

  We never thought of that slang. It was advertised as "all white meat".
I personally prefer white meat instead of dark meat...with both chicken
and turkey.

 GP> But moderation is the key. I'll enjoy the occasional yeast doughnut
 GP> now, but only one full sized one at a time. I just had a nice
 GP> caramel-filled maple-nut doughnut for breakfast!

  As noted, I used to get a dozen chocolate iced donuts, and a diet
soda. But, it's rare that I go for that now.

 GP> Will have been tobacco-free for 28 years this coming August!

  I never picked up the vices of smoking or drinking. I don't see
how they can afford it.

 GP> Such a good feeling.  I respect others makng their free choice to
 GP> smoke, so long as they respect me, & others.

  I respect their choice...but the vices have their own consequences.

 GP> The church had a beef with smoking, but God was okay with me, at times,
 GP> so longb as I did so in a manner that showed my alleguance to Him.  One
 GP> time I was right out of cigs & tobacco, with no money due for a while,m
 GP> so I prayed for help; True story: 4 hours later I get a knock on my
 GP> door by a down the hall neighbour who knew I smoked & had an extra
 GP> carton, & would I like it, free of charge?

  The only thing I want smoking or steaming is the food on my dinner plate. 
But, I've known quite a few church folks that smoked.

 GP> Not just what I asked for, but delivery, too!  God really knows how to
 GP> answer prayer!

  He does that...but the finances have been tighter than a frogs butt
underwater. Even if the Yag Laser surgery does good next month, I may
end up selling the car, anyway.

 GP> My wife's are mild enough, but my daughter gets them bad; I have
 GP> nothing but sympathy/empathy, of course.  Renal Colic can feel like my
 GP> guts are making their escape by firing cannonnballs using a trebuchet
 GP> sat my gut walls.

  Too bad we can't use the flatulence after a colonoscopy in our vehicles.
If we could, I'd get a pallet of Bush's Baked Beans, get the secret
formula from Duke, and tell OPEC what they could do with their gas prices.
There was "a study" that determined that people pass gas from 15 times a
day, to as much as 20 times an hour. I wonder how much of our tax money
was used to determine that?? 

 GP> I have to get help rolling onto my side.  When they wanted a stool
 GP> sample, they had to put the bed's head up to max, so I was basically
 GP> sitting.

  I can roll on to the side pretty easily. Years ago, I was in the hospital
for an illness, and one of the get well cards I got noted "May your bedpan
always be warm". 

 GP> Rowboat accessories are sexy?! You live a lonely life, my friend! ;)

  Been that way for 14 1/2 years. I dated some women at times after my
wife died, but never got strongly into the relationship. Nowadays, no one
would want me. I'm leery of the dating apps, as there are a ton of "romance
scams". So, I likely will be alone the rest of my life.

 GP> How long does it take to get from intercourse to climax. when you're
 GP> driving?

 GP> Me: 2 minutes
 GP> one of my exes: 19 hours minimum & only once a decade!

  That reminds me of a line from the movie "Zorro - The Gay Blade",
where George Hamilton played both parts...of Diego, then his gay
brother. Just before Diego was to be executed, his brother showed
up with "2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits, a peso. All here for Zorro...
stand up, and say so". 

  But, the alcalde (sp?) was real stingy with sex toward his wife.
According to her (taking to Diego), she said "her husband made
love 12 times in a year". Diego said "Once a month is not too bad";
and she lamented "12 times in one year...and the rest of the year,
nothing". In another scene, the alcalde gets his wife "all hot and
horny", and says "You know, that one thing we do, one night, every
year??". She says "Oh, yes!!". He drops her to the floor, walks off,
and says "We still have three months to go". She screams "You Beast!!".

 GP> I've seen that one, too! & only got it the second time because I was
 GP> reading the captions.

  I love the dachshund commercials.

 >   Ah so!! 

 GP> What did you just call me?!

  Would you believe there is actually a square dance call, created by
the late Lee Kopman, with that name?? When he was calling in Japan,
he had to stress that he was meaning the call "Ah So", and not just
saying "Ah So". Another call was known as "Cover Up"...and put together,
it sounded like "Cover Up Your Ah So". 

  There was a video of him on The Phil Donahue Show years ago, in
Chicago, showing what square dancing was. He had a son, Steve, who
followed in his Dad's footsteps...and I got to dance to both of them
when the National Square Dance Convention was in Anaheim, California,
in 1988.

  I was in the Advanced Level Hall (there are actually 5 levels in
square dancing...Basic, Mainstread, Plus, Advanced, and Challenge),
and they were having a "contest"...where one would get the dancers
into this God-Awful-Formation, and the other would have to get them
out of it. Well, Dad is first, and says to his son after a few
minutes, "It's yours". We thought "there's no way he'll fix this".
Well, lo and behold, he did it!! Then, he turned to his Dad, and
it was like "Since revenge is a dish best served cold, it's my
turn"...to which everyone laughed. He got us into a worse setup,
and his Dad got us out of it. The dancers were eating it up...that
was some of the most fun I ever had square dancing. Sadly, bladder
cancer claimed Lee's life several years ago.  

 GP> I forget the German word; but I recall a good name for a bra: over the
 GP> shoulder boulder holder.

  Or as was known on The Beverly Hillbillies: a double barrel slingshot. 

 GP> ahh: German bra: stoppemfromfloppen

  Yah, voul. 

 GP> & the German word for virgin puts us right on the edge of the echo's
 GP> PG-13 rating: Guttentite.

  I liked the deal on The Tonight Show years ago, with Johnny Carson as
The Great Carnac, and Ed McMahon reading things. With one envelope, The
Great Carnac said "Marcus Welby, Catfish, Doris Day"...to which, that
got the laugh and chuckles from Ed McMahon and the audience (as Carnac
rubbed the envelope next to his head). Then, he opened it, and said
"Name a surgeon, a sturgeon, and a virgin". 

Daryl

... Before drawing boards, where did they go back to??
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