George,

 GP> Some of us are getting soft from being yhome during covid, & with the
 GP> gyms closed.

  It really is a sucky situation.

 GP> **** Health Question & Answer Session:

 GP> Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
 GP> true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it ...
 GP> don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding
 GP> up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
 GP> extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
 GP> Take a nap. 

  Frequent naps prevent old age...especially if taken while driving. 
I can relate to the fast heart...atrial flutter is not fun, when it
sped mine up to 155 beats per minute. Medication has stabilized it,
where I don't need ablation surgery right now.

 GP> Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You
 GP> must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
 GP> And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
 GP> efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
 GP> grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
 GP> leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
 GP> daily allowance of vegetable products. 

  The cows want you go to Chick-Fil-A...but they're closed on Sunday.
Plus, around central Arkansas, the dining rooms are still closed, but
you can eat at the outdoor tables, or get it at the drive thru.

 GP> <--------------- Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at
 GP> all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they
 GP> take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
 GP> goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

  Bottoms up?? That's when you fold the gypsies over, so their butt
cracks are above ground, so folks have a place to park their bicycles
when they're done riding them. 

 GP> Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body
 GP> and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies,
 GP> your ratio is two to one, etc.

  I'm not in the best of shape, but for the shape I'm in, I'm in great
shape. Besides...round is a shape...and I believe in the balanced diet;
balanced in the belly and in the butt cheeks. 

 GP> Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
 GP> exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
 GP> is: No Pain ... Good!

  Men are wimps when it comes to pain...and I freely admit that.

  Several years ago, when I was in the Emergency Room with a catheter
and severe bladder spasms, I was in tears, and screaming in agonizing
pain...naked on a hard exam table. Finally, these two good looking 
female nurses walked in, and they said "You're not going to like us".
I replied "I'll kiss you if you make the pain go away". They said
"We have something for the pain, but it's an OVERSIZED SUPPOSITORY".
They gave a whole new meaning to the words "SHOVE IT!!" (up the
anus and rectum)...but it got rid of the pain.

  Nudity means nothing to the medical professionals, but I had a
friend who refused to go to the doctor, clinic, etc., because he
didn't want the folks (especially the females) to see him naked.
I could not convince him that "it's just another day at work for
them"...basically the same as a parent changing their child's diaper.

 GP> Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! Foods are
 GP> fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it.
 GP> How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

  Only if they're vegetables you don't like. :P

 GP> Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
 GP> middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
 GP> You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

  It's hard enough to sit up at the table to eat.  Then, after you
have a big Thanksgiving Dinner, it's time for "a turkey coma". :P

 GP> Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans!
 GP> Another vegetable! It's the best feel-good food around!

  It does have caffeine...but I've heard that dark chocolate once a
month can be good for you. Yet, too much caffeine can cause a rapid
heartbeat (been there, done that, with drinking too much diet green
tea).

 GP> Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your
 GP> figure, explain whales to me.

  You're just blubbering now. 

 GP> Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a
 GP> shape!

  That's what I noted earlier.

Daryl

... Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
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