>  >   Exactly. Never mind the song "Don't It Make My Brown eyes Blue??". 

 >  > But, it's always the small things that cause us the most grief. Oooo...
 >  > I just had a very dirty thought...that goes in line with the other
 >  > message
 >  > I just posted a bit ago. 

 >   The small thing that causes the most grief...think of being without
 > Viagra when it's time to get romantic. :P

Never a need for Viagra. . . unless you want to make a baby you'll be too old
to care for, let alone live long enough to see graduate?

 >   Last month, I got a TDaP (tetanus, diptheria, and pertussis (whooping
 > cough)), and a prevnar (pneumonia) shot. I got 2 shingles shots last year,
 > along with a flu shot. This year, I got 2 COVID-19 shots, and will get the
 > flu shot sometime this month.

Weren't you supposed to get the TDaP in grade school long ago?

 >   I was stuck at home today, as the carbon monoxide and smoke detectors
 > with the ADT alarm system, crapped out, with constant beeping. So, that
 > meant no nap. They came by and replaced both of them, so I can get some
 > sleep tonight.

Hopefully you did; lost sleep is precious. . .  I nap when needed, without
shame, eveb. . .

  >  GP> boyfriend & how to best avoid pregnancy (as her parental units would
 >  GP> kill her); I pointed out how God & Nature designed f*cking to make
 >  GP> babies (I udsed the crudity to sink into her skull quickest -- it 
works
 >  GP> great for know- everything teens when an old person uses Gratuitous
 >  GP> Intensives like that.

 >   Yeah, it's the only thing they understand.

It helped. 


 >   I think there are some who think you can get pregnant by osmosis.

Yup. . . there is an old belief that men & women sharing a hot tub can lead 
to pregnancy. . .

 >   I think of the joke where the father and son are walking in the park, 
 > and they spot this male dog humping a bitch (female dog). The little boy
 > asks "Daddy!! Daddy!! What are they doing??". He tells his son truthfully,
 > "Son, they're making a puppy!!".

That's an old labour term: f*cking the dog, meaning wasting time instead of
doing yuour job.

My dad used to sy it as "making puppies" just for laughs. . . (he was a guard
in a prison work camp -- not much chance of offending anyone with so-called
bad language!)


 >  GP> Pill? Is she okay with a 3% chance of getting preggers & dying at the
 >  GP> hands of her parents? (apparently that was too high a risk! Good -- 
my
 >  GP> point was getting in there).

 >   At least the reality sunk in.

yup; I felt it was important it do so. . . she was not maturee enough or 
reafy to be a parent, & I expect the boyfriend, off doing his own thing while
she's struggling with such a difficult issue, wouldn't be much readier. . .


 >   It is so true that "true love waits". My wife didn't want kids...and 

More than one sense of waiting, was my point. . .

Eoither way, if two parynjmers can't ahree on such a thing, I'd strongly
recommend they are not ready for marriage, because one is blatantly ignoreing
some thing iportant to the other.

If only one is religious, I refer them to "do not become unevenly yoked"
(whichj merans more than just Believer & non, it also suggests that a paper &
a milionaire won't make a stable marriage either, nor a teen & a geezer.

 > printing (methyl-ethyl-ketone) for almost 20 years...she noted "they would
 > not spay me...so, he volunteered to get neutered". We still had an 
excellent
 > romantic life, and because we were virgins when we got married, there was
 > no threat of STD's (most of those have no cure).

Of course you culd enjoy romance -- neutering doesn't change that.  Now if 
you also got gelded, you might have trouble in just one department. . .

No reason your wife should have to suffer though!

 >   When I came back to work after the honeymoon, one of the employees, who
 > was living with this girl, and had already had a kid with her...asked me
 > if I was still a virgin. I looked at him dead in the eye, and growled "I'm
 > married....what do you think??!!". When I told my boss, I thought he was
 > going to spit his teeth out of his mouth!! 

I think your coworker was just being smnarky, suggesting you're so overly
religiuos tyou won't even do "the deed" when married. . .

Good answer, though; pointing out you know what's what, whilemaking it seem 
he doesn't. . . :D

I believe as the Good Book says, that forbidding marriage is an abomination.

Q: What's a celibate person's favourite operating system?
A: Unix.

Here's one from old Rome, in the 4th century AD:

A man saw a eunuch talking with a woman and asked him if she was his wife.
When he replied that eunuchs can't have wives, the man asked: "So is she your
daughter?"




 >  GP> Q: What do you call pneumonia that’s been around for a while
 >  GP> A: Oldmonia

 >   Really.

 >  GP> My doctor asked me, “Have you ever struggled with pneumonia before?”
 >  GP> Me: Yes doc, once before.

 >  GP> Doctor: When?

 >  GP> Me: In school, when the teacher asked me to spell it.

 >   Again, really.

 >  GP> Told my daughter about the time I was sick on Halloween
 >  GP> She has pneumonia and was not able to go trick or treating this year. 
I
 >  GP> told her how was sick on Halloween once but I got into my mummy 
costume
 >  GP> and went trick or treating anyway, vomited after going to one house 
and
 >  GP> then went back home.

 >  GP> Daughter: "Wow Dad, you were dead-icated."

 >  GP> I am so proud of her. She is 6.

 >   Gag!! :P

 > Daryl

 > ... I got gas for 99 cents today...but it was from Taco Bell.
 > === MultiMail/Win v0.52
 > --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux