George,

 >   Exactly. Never mind the song "Don't It Make My Brown eyes Blue??". 
 > But, it's always the small things that cause us the most grief. Oooo...
 > I just had a very dirty thought...that goes in line with the other message
 > I just posted a bit ago. 

  The small thing that causes the most grief...think of being without
Viagra when it's time to get romantic. :P

 GP> Or it makes your blue eyes brown?

  I don't recall that one. The only ones I know are:

1) Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue?
2) Beautiful, Beautiful Brown Eyes.

 >   This cancel culture has gotten ridiculous. What's next?? Prohibiting
 > belching and farting in public??

 GP> Good luck on that one! I'm agreeable with the banning of expectorating
 GP> (horking) in public. .  that's nasty, & nmastier to step in  & even
 GP> worse to wheel through for a guy(or gal) in a manual wheelchair who
 GP> then gets it on their hands!

  

 GP> I can swallow anything that comes up when I cough -- it came from my
 GP> body it can darn well go back into it! (unless I have pneumonia, then
 GP> it goes into a tissue, cuz those bacteria are not wanted!)

  Support bacteria...it's the only culture some people have. :P

 GP> Pneumonia was a shocker -- never had it til aged 48 or so, then 5 times
 GP> in the one year! (not fun--I resumed my occasional pots of Rhino Soup &
 GP> that helped)

  Last month, I got a TDaP (tetanus, diptheria, and pertussis (whooping 
cough)), and a prevnar (pneumonia) shot. I got 2 shingles shots last year, 
along with a flu shot. This year, I got 2 COVID-19 shots, and will get the 
flu shot sometime this month.

  I was stuck at home today, as the carbon monoxide and smoke detectors 
with the ADT alarm system, crapped out, with constant beeping. So, that
meant no nap. They came by and replaced both of them, so I can get some
sleep tonight.

 >  GP> Parenting isn't a game -- it's a very serious responsibility &
 >  GP> obligation.

 GP> I was asked for counsel from a teen girl in NJ about playtime with her
 GP> boyfriend & how to best avoid pregnancy (as her parental units would
 GP> kill her); I pointed out how God & Nature designed f*cking to make
 GP> babies (I udsed the crudity to sink into her skull quickest -- it works
 GP> great for know- everything teens when an old person uses Gratuitous
 GP> Intensives like that.

  Yeah, it's the only thing they understand.

 GP> She'd reply with, "but what if we use. . ." & I said "F*cking Makes
 GP> Babies" as many timnes as needed until she clued in.  I further
 GP> explained that even the very best method, other than abstinence, has a
 GP> percentage rate of error (2-10%)

  I think there are some who think you can get pregnant by osmosis.

 GP> I told her if she REALLY must share intimacy with her
 GP> one-love-for-life, use imagination & just completely avoid anytyhing
 GP> designed to make a baby.

  I think of the joke where the father and son are walking in the park, 
and they spot this male dog humping a bitch (female dog). The little boy
asks "Daddy!! Daddy!! What are they doing??". He tells his son truthfully,
"Son, they're making a puppy!!".

  The little boy was satisfied with the explanation, but Daddy was so
afraid that when they got home, and Momma asked how their day was, he
was going to tell them that. Well, amazingly, their son didn't say a
word. After dinner, he went to bed when he was supposed to, and shortly
thereafter, Daddy went to bed with Momma. As, it turned out, Momma was
in a romantic mood. 

  So, they started getting frisky, and the noisy wakes their son. They
forgot to close and lock their bedroom door, and their son discovers
their lovemaking...startling them, wanting to know what they are doing.

  Daddy calmly says, "Son, we're making a baby".

  To which, the little boy says "Well, turn her over Dad!! I want a
puppy!!" 

 GP> Pill? Is she okay with a 3% chance of getting preggers & dying at the
 GP> hands of her parents? (apparently that was too high a risk! Good -- my
 GP> point was getting in there).

  At least the reality sunk in.

 GP> I don't believe one mnust avoid ALL intimacy in all cases.  Sexual
 GP> pleasure is a great gift; to discard a gift or shelve it for ten years
 GP> "just because" is insulting to the Giver.  Life is a gift, too, so
 GP> don't allow addiction to sex to interfere with thoroughly living life.
 GP> . . :)

  It is so true that "true love waits". My wife didn't want kids...and after
I was hospitalized for a week, and kept away from college and work for two
months, due to severe chicken pox that almost went into encephalitis 41 
years ago...then working around, and absorbing nasty solvents in silkscreen
printing (methyl-ethyl-ketone) for almost 20 years...she noted "they would
not spay me...so, he volunteered to get neutered". We still had an excellent
romantic life, and because we were virgins when we got married, there was
no threat of STD's (most of those have no cure).

  When I came back to work after the honeymoon, one of the employees, who
was living with this girl, and had already had a kid with her...asked me
if I was still a virgin. I looked at him dead in the eye, and growled "I'm
married....what do you think??!!". When I told my boss, I thought he was
going to spit his teeth out of his mouth!! 

 GP> Q: What do you call pneumonia that’s been around for a while
 GP> A: Oldmonia

  Really.

 GP> My doctor asked me, “Have you ever struggled with pneumonia before?”
 GP> Me: Yes doc, once before.

 GP> Doctor: When?

 GP> Me: In school, when the teacher asked me to spell it.

  Again, really.

 GP> Told my daughter about the time I was sick on Halloween
 GP> She has pneumonia and was not able to go trick or treating this year. I
 GP> told her how was sick on Halloween once but I got into my mummy costume
 GP> and went trick or treating anyway, vomited after going to one house and
 GP> then went back home.

 GP> Daughter: "Wow Dad, you were dead-icated."

 GP> I am so proud of her. She is 6.

  Gag!! :P

Daryl

... I got gas for 99 cents today...but it was from Taco Bell.
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