George,

 >   That, and switching FIDONet hubs. My original one was shutting down, due
 > to a job change. Then, I forgot to change my default AKA, so Internet Rex
 > got constipated, and I had to give it an enema. :P

 GP> I dinnae ken your words there, mate!

  It cleared the backlog of a crapload of messages in FIDONet. 

 GP> Ouch; not good! You're going to let them put a laser into your heart to
 GP> burn tattoos into your inner heart?!

  If that's what it takes to stop this atrial flutter, yes. I'm on a heart
monitor until Sept. 15. It looks like I'll have to switch them out and charge
the phone and the monitor tomorrow...downtime should be 90 minutes to 3 hours.

  While they'd go through both sides of the groin, and least they're not 
going to burn something down there. :P I'm already preparing to pee and
poop the bed. :P

 GP> They technically ought to be fired for not using a set they know the
 GP> quality & provenance for.

  It may have worked for other patients, but didn't want to work for me. It
was like Groucho Marx as Doctor Quackenbush, taking this guy's pulse...and
he says "Either this man is dead, or my watch is stopped". :P

 GP> I think your head would've been where it always is, albeit a bit achy
 GP> from a goose knot atop it!

  At least it wasn't Cranial Rectal Syndrome...the most common workplace
injury. Or Zachary Disease, where their face look Zachary like their butt.

 GP> I had a basic Schwinn one-speed; took me forever to learn to ride it (I
 GP> was not a fan of falling, not a collector of road rash, by preference).

  I did it up in a patriotic theme (red, white, and blue) for a "Field Day"
event in elementary school 50 years ago. If I remember right, I got awarded
a blue ribbon. :)

 GP> Eventually my dad threatened to throw it in the trash if I wasn't
 GP> riding it by the time he got back from his 2 days at work.  I went from
 GP> zero to riding no-hands in the early afternoon he was due back (got off
 GP> work at 3pm & drove an hour or so home)

  I used it when I delivered an afternoon newspaper route in south Florida
back in the mid 1970's -- that paper is long gone, and the family moved to
Arkansas in 1977.

 GP> They called Air Traffic Control & were told they had winged the wong
 GP> number (the Chinese had bought out SC's ATC)

  Or like the meme of this place..."The Wong Foo King Book Store". 

 GP> Could be that prunes are the essential flavour base.  Most pops werre
 GP> invenmted by druggists to help with one condition or other (7-Up was
 GP> "Lithiated Soda -  good for bipolar, Pepsi(pepsin) for stomach acid
 GP> issues, Coke(cocaine) for headaches & Lethargy).

  This is true.

 GP> Perhaps Dr. Pepper was "just what the doctor ordered" for constipation.

  So many have diarrhea of the mouth, and constipation of the brain (i.e.
all the government officials) that colonoscopy prep wouldn't help them.

 GP> You do know why constipated people are most likely to be apathetic,
 GP> don't you?

  They're exhaustipated...too tired to give a $***. :P

 GP> I thought covid shots were free? Or you mean the proof of vaccination?

  I stand corrected...it is the latter. But, one doctor or pharmacist was
giving saline or a placebo instead of the correct vaccine.

 GP> Ours will be digital, once rolled out in the next week or so (after
 GP> 13-Sept, no going into stores or grou pevents without one proving
 GP> you've had at least one shot; as of 26th, need both shots)

  I took a photo of mine, and put it on my cellphone. I also bought a
plastic holder and lanyard from Amazon to have it in (it was getting
dog-eared in the wallet).

 GP> Have you seen that scene in Dr. Folittle, where the little
 GP> dog(dachsund?) is talking to a young Dr. Dolittle, giving the
 GP> commemtary on hhis vet visit, including the thermomenter up the butt
 GP> ("oh no, it's swallowing it. . . it's GONE! GET IT OUT OF ME! GET IT
 GP> OUT OF ME!")

  No, never saw that one.

 GP> Where to pick my inspiration? hmmm. . .

 GP> Q: What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
 GP> A: OK, boomer.

  Never mind Boomer Sooner (for all the University Of Oklahoma Fans).

 GP> [a little old now]
 GP> My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser
 GP> eye surgery I’ve always wanted
 GP> It’s my 2020 vision

  If you have hindsight, are you looking at butts, or do your cheeks have
eyes?? )I(

 GP> Q: What do laser guns and churches have in common?
 GP> A: Pews (think girl gamers)

  They're buying new air fresheners for the church to get rid of the pews.

  A bean supper will be held Friday evening in the Fellowship Hall to 
benefit the choir...music will follow.
  
 GP> Superman using his eye lasers for laser eye surgery...
 GP> How eye-ronic would that be?

  I can see him doing that.

 GP> I tried to pick up the navy's new mounted laser turret but it weighed
 GP> more than a ton.
 GP> I thought a laser would be light.

  Do not look into laser with remaining eye.

 GP> If you do the calculations to enable a laser to work, are you doing
 GP> crystal math?

  2+2=5 -- for extremely large values of 2.

Daryl

... Is it OK to use AM radio after midday??
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