>   That, and switching FIDONet hubs. My original one was shutting down, due
 > to a job change. Then, I forgot to change my default AKA, so Internet Rex
 > got constipated, and I had to give it an enema. :P 

I dinnae ken your words there, mate!

 >   Plus, over the weekend, I was back in the hospital with atrial flutter
 > for the second time in a month...and the heart rate was back up to 155.
 > The cardiologist has changed my medication again, and put me on a heart
 > monitor for 2 weeks. If those don't work, then ablation surgery may have
 > to be considered.

Ouch; not good! You're going to let them put a laser into your heart to burn
tattoos into your inner heart?!

 >   Sunday night into Monday morning, some idiot set off the fire alarm...
 > not once, but twice. And, one time during the overnight vital signs
 > check, their blood pressure deal, thermometer, and pulse oximeter, did
 > not work. Thankfully, I had brought mine along, so they didn't have to
 > go find another working set.

They technically ought to be fired for not using a set they know the quality 
& provenance for.

 >   Then, I nearly lost my head...literally. I had put my walker in the back
 > of the Uber vehicle, and went to also put my bag of stuff from the 
hospital
 > in there...and the door started closing on my head.

I think your head would've been where it always is, albeit a bit achy from a
goose knot atop it!

 >  GP> Q: What's the medical term for a tandem bicycle?
 >  GP> A: Conjoined Schwinns

 >   I had those growing up...the Sting Ray, and even a 10 speed bike.

I had a basic Schwinn one-speed; took me forever to learn to ride it (I was
not a fan of falling, not a collector of road rash, by preference)

Eventually my dad threatened to throw it in the trash if I wasn't riding it 
by the time he got back from his 2 days at work.  I went from zero to riding
no-hands in the early afternoon he was due back (got off work at 3pm & drove
an hour or so home)

 >  GP> After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident
 >  GP> leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical
 >  GP> examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
 >  GP> “Are you all Wright?!”

 >   That was from Wright And Wrong Field.

They called Air Traffic Control & were told they had winged the wong number
(the Chinese had bought out SC's ATC)

 >   Some say that's carbonated prune juice. Dr. Pepper was the original,
 > with offshoots of Mister Pibb, Doctor K (Kroger), etc. Imitation is
 > the sincerest form of flattery.

Could be that prunes are the essential flavour base.  Most pops werre
invenmted by druggists to help with one condition or other (7-Up was
"Lithiated Soda -  good for bipolar, Pepsi(pepsin) for stomach acid issues,
Coke(cocaine) for headaches & Lethargy)

Perhaps Dr. Pepper was "just what the doctor ordered" for constipation.

You do know why constipated people are most likely to be apathetic, don't 
you?

 >  GP> I got a fake medical ID made to get the COVID vaccine, but I was
 >  GP> rejected It was worth a shot.

 >   Seriously, there are folks selling these things for large amounts 
 > of money. I had bought a lanyard and clear case for my card (it was
 > getting dog-eared in my wallet), but the lanyard broke. Thankfully,
 > I had an extra one here at the house to use instead.

I thought covid shots were free? Or you mean the proof of vaccination? Ours
will be digital, once rolled out in the next week or so (after 13-Sept, no
going into stores or grou pevents without one proving you've had at least one
shot; as of 26th, need both shots)


 >   When the dachshund that my wife and I had when we got married had
 > to go to the vet, of course, the vet does the finger up the butt...
 > and the dog doesn't like it (they know what us males think about it).
 > My late wife asked the vet "Why must I always get the business end
 > with the teeth??".

Have you seen that scene in Dr. Folittle, where the little dog(dachsund?) is
talking to a young Dr. Dolittle, giving the commemtary on hhis vet visit,
including the thermomenter up the butt ("oh no, it's swallowing it. . . it's
GONE! GET IT OUT OF ME! GET IT OUT OF ME!")

Where to pick my inspiration? hmmm. . .

Q: What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
A: OK, boomer.

[a little old now]
My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye
surgery I’ve always wanted
It’s my 2020 vision

Q: What do laser guns and churches have in common?
A: Pews (think girl gamers)

Superman using his eye lasers for laser eye surgery...
How eye-ronic would that be?

I tried to pick up the navy's new mounted laser turret but it weighed more
than a ton.
I thought a laser would be light.

If you do the calculations to enable a laser to work, are you doing crystal
math?

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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