George,

 GP> Haven't seen you in a while; you busy fighting health & pain issues?

  That, and switching FIDONet hubs. My original one was shutting down, due
to a job change. Then, I forgot to change my default AKA, so Internet Rex
got constipated, and I had to give it an enema. :P 

  Plus, over the weekend, I was back in the hospital with atrial flutter
for the second time in a month...and the heart rate was back up to 155.
The cardiologist has changed my medication again, and put me on a heart
monitor for 2 weeks. If those don't work, then ablation surgery may have
to be considered.

  Sunday night into Monday morning, some idiot set off the fire alarm...
not once, but twice. And, one time during the overnight vital signs
check, their blood pressure deal, thermometer, and pulse oximeter, did
not work. Thankfully, I had brought mine along, so they didn't have to
go find another working set.

  Then, I nearly lost my head...literally. I had put my walker in the back
of the Uber vehicle, and went to also put my bag of stuff from the hospital
in there...and the door started closing on my head.

 GP> Q: What's the medical term for a tandem bicycle?
 GP> A: Conjoined Schwinns

  I had those growing up...the Sting Ray, and even a 10 speed bike.

 GP> After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident
 GP> leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical
 GP> examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
 GP> “Are you all Wright?!”

  That was from Wright And Wrong Field.

 GP> So it turns out Dr. Pepper isn't a real medical doctor...
 GP> He just has a doctorate in theoretical fizz-ics

  Some say that's carbonated prune juice. Dr. Pepper was the original,
with offshoots of Mister Pibb, Doctor K (Kroger), etc. Imitation is
the sincerest form of flattery.

 GP> Q: What the medical term for owning too many dogs?
 GP> A: A roverdose

  That's when your practice has gone to the dogs...and it's known as
Sir Bark-A-Lot.

 GP> I got a fake medical ID made to get the COVID vaccine, but I was
 GP> rejected It was worth a shot.

  Seriously, there are folks selling these things for large amounts 
of money. I had bought a lanyard and clear case for my card (it was
getting dog-eared in my wallet), but the lanyard broke. Thankfully,
I had an extra one here at the house to use instead.

 GP> Q: What do you call a canine with a medical PhD?
 GP> A: A dog'tor

  When the dachshund that my wife and I had when we got married had
to go to the vet, of course, the vet does the finger up the butt...
and the dog doesn't like it (they know what us males think about it).
My late wife asked the vet "Why must I always get the business end
with the teeth??".

Daryl

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