George,

 GP> Mugger with a gun, "Give me all your money; Oh, I see you're a
 GP> congressman; give me all MY money!"

  D@mn right!! 

 GP> One I wrote:
 GP> "I see," said the blind man, as he looked through a knothole in a
 GP> barbed wire fence.

 GP> "What do you see?" asked the deaf-mute.

 GP> The quadriplegic just walked off in disgust.

  Or there's this wooden fence outside of the insane asylum, and one
hear's a number being repeated by this crowd. Well, there's a little
peephole in the fence, and this one guy on the other side decides to
take a look through and see why they're saying "Twenty-Eight" over
and over again.

  He gets poked in the eye, and they're now chanting repeatedly
"Twenty-Nine". 
 
 GP> Two old Catholic priess were watching a local 'house of ill repute', as
 GP> they'd heard of some real debauchery going on & hoped to identify those
 GP> who could use some old fashioned penance next confession.

 GP> They saw a rabbi enter into the place & one remarked, "Well, that tells
 GP> it then - lost & reprobate 'e is."

 GP> "Aye," said the other, pointing to a Protestant minister, "& that one
 GP> not much better. I guess we'll have to really rail about those
 GP> Protestants in Sunday's sermon."

 GP> Just then they saw a fellow Catholic priest enter in.

 GP> "Aye & begorrah, one of the poor ladies must be wanting to confee her
 GP> sins!" they both exclaimed in unison.

  I like the one where this preacher confronted his congregation one Sunday
morning. Apparently, one of the members had been spreading rumors that he
was a member of the Ku Klux Klan. He vehemently said he opposed what they
did...and demanded that the person in the congregation step forward, confess
their sin, and repent of it, to be restored to fellowship.

  No one moved or said a word.

  The preacher repeated his stern message, saying "The Judgment Of The
Lord will be upon you if you keep quiet".

  Suddenly, this pretty young woman, quietly stood up, and said "Pastor,
I want to apologize for any confusion there was caused about that 
statement. I never said that you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan".

  "I just said you were a grand wizard under the sheets!!" 

  The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the entire
congregation roared in raucous laughter!! 

Daryl

... Thunderclap: An extremely violent form of VD.
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