>   A lady I square danced with years ago (last time I saw her, was at a
 > local PetsMart store with her husband (my wife was with me as well). She
 > had undergone knee replacement surgery, and no longer was dancing. She had
 > a deal on her keychain that said "Sexual Harassment Welcome Here". 
 > The thing is, you have to be careful who you do that to, nowadays.

Wuith that pendant, I'd, after we're acquainted, playfully ask if that stands
today, ruight now.  If she says giggles & yes, that's consent!

 > Q: What did the hurricane tell the coconut tree??
 > A: Hold on to your nuts -- this is going to be one heck of a blow job. 

Southern divorce just like a hurricane, eh? Lots of huffing & puffing, next
thing you know, she's gone with half your stuff!

Foxworthy talks of unhappy wives & how they make for unhappy husbands & if
she's unhappy long enough, you're gonna be unhappy with half as much stuff. .
.

 >  GP> reincarnation.
 >  GP> They said I have a pre existing condition.

 >   That's just reconstituting evaporated milk.

I did that in my super poverty days, just to have cereal milk throughout the
month.  I'd mix evap milk 1:1 with reconstituted powdered milk they gave me 
at the food bank, & leave it in fridge 24 hours & it was palatable, but not
for drinking by itself (ick!); I'd mix in chocolate syrup if I wanted to 
drink a glass of cold milk (washing down pancakes, e.g.)

I loved my morning granola, so had to have milk, & for my coffee (before I
discovered & could afford cream in my coffee)

 >  GP> all swam down. Insurance refused to pay out.
 >  GP> They argued it was an act of cod.

 >   And, the claimant was left floundering, told he just did it for the
 > halibut...and all he could exclaim was "GAR!!". 

VERY nice! Whale, I guess eel not bother them again. . . That's just a bad
plaice to buy insurance, I'd say.

 >  GP> Medical office had a picture of Christopher Walken on the door with
 >  GP> "Walkins welcome".

 >   If he left Scott there, did he walk out Scott Free??

Scott Paper makes most of our toilet paper, so here you hope to leave the
public bathroom with your shoe, Scott-free. . .
[& we know which washroom is for which set of genitalia here]

 >  GP> We should raise insurance rates on drivers who have never crashed 
their
 >  GP> cars. They're driving wrecklessly.

 >   It's not my driving I worry about...it's everyone else's.

Guy was absolutely TERRIFIED of flying(& dying); his friend said don't worry,
when it's your time to go, it won't matter if you're on the ground or in a
plane, you'ree going to die.

"But," his friend replied," What if it's the pilot's time to go?"

 >   I'd be more worried of folks peeing and pooping in the pool. :P

One of these prank shows dod a gag whjere the hjost was in the lifeguard 
chaor ay an outdoor swimming pool.  He got out his bullhorn & said, "I'm
sorry, foilks, but rules are you need toget out of the pool when t here's no
lifeguard at his post. I just need to quickly use the batghroom, then we can
return to playing in the water."

Some grumbles, but everyone got out & stood back, waiing, as he got down the
ladder on theside of his chair & walked directly over to the pool, climbed
down the ladder then waded into the deep end & just stood there smiling.

 > ... A bird in the hand is a dirty hand.

I heard it was a hand in the bird is. . . I forget the rest, as I got
distracted. . .

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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