George,

 GP> When this happens, you know you're valued, personally, not just as "a
 GP> customer"; they noticed YOU were coming in less.

  I no longer shop there, as Wal-Mart has a better selection. Plus, I can
get the items delivered here. I need to prepare a grocery list, and go
online. The delivery fee is equivalent to the gas I'd spend driving out
there and back, trying to find a parking place, then walking in the store,
looking for everything, then waiting forever and a day to checkout (with
the registers usually crashing). I'm not carrying $300 in cash around for
my shopping.

 GP> I get asked, because of my genetic pot belly if I'm pregnant; I reply
 GP> in the same vein of humour & say, "Yup, with a baby elephant; want to
 GP> see the trunk?"

  Yep. But, I reply "I need a shed for my tool". 

 > ... Newspaper Headline: "Drunk gets 9 months in Violin Case."

 GP> Tight quarters! (drunk two-bit coins?)

  Hanging is too good for a punster artist. He should be drawn and quoted.

 GP> Do you know when AI is ironic? When a computer inquires if I am a
 GP> robot.

  It may be coming to that (sigh!).

 GP> What is even more ironic than when someone wakes up tired? If someone
 GP> dies in the living room.

  That's like the cartoon, where the guy is trying to get a nap on the
couch in the living room. His wife (with a shrill, whiney voice) walks
in, and asks "Are you asleep??!!". He growls, "No, dead. Leave the flowers,
and get out!!". 

 GP> Russia, long before the Sovet Revolution, had a rule forbidding irony
 GP> being used by any but licensed jesters.

 GP> They would exile the perpetrators to a deep pit in Siberia
 GP> ("technically" not executing the person); this pit, defined by order of
 GP> the emperor, became known as the Tsar Chasm.

  I saw a T-shirt awhile back that said:

  "Sarcastic Remark coming in 3...2...1...". 

 GP> Q: How is 'Communism' one of the most ironic terms?
 GP> A: It is capitalized.

  Just about. Now, my type of communism is communing around the food trough
to feed my face. 

 GP>  Do you know a funny irony in grammar-related language?
 GP> It lies in "hyphenated" and "non-hyphenated" words.

  I like Victor Borge's "Phonetic Punctuation".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJiHlt8NRqk

 GP> Q: What are the ten things that I hate the most?
 GP> A: Lists, repeating myself, lists, irony, trickery.

  You have too much thyme on your hands...you need to spice it up a bit.

Daryl

... "Honesty is the 1st chapter in the book of wisdom."  -Thomas Jefferson
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