>  GP> Isn't "bless your heart" the friendly Su'thern way of saying F' You?

 >   It's not that way to me, sir. :) I mean it as compassion.

I knew that! Was just funnin'. . .  :) 

 >  GP> The Sallies do provide that help & I saupport tyhem for it.  They've
 >  GP> helped friends of mine get sober & off the streets peremanently.

 >   But, they have to want to be cured.

Most have no clue something is wrong. Because they've been shunned & excluded
for so long.

There's an old (400+ years) preacher story where he tells of a man who sits 
on the corner iu town, stabbing himself in the knee all day with a fork.
People cleaned up the blood & provided sanitizing of the wounds, but couldn't
get through to him to get him to stop.

One day an expert doctor-surgeon was in town, witnessed this, & bade the man
be arresated & secured to a table in his operating theatre.

He cut into the mnan's head, found a tumour & removed it.

After the man recovered & wo9ke up, the surgeon visited him & offered him a
fork.

"Why should I want this, doctor, I see no food?"

"Don't you want to stab yourself in the knee?" replied the surgeon.


"Are ye MAD? Why would I do such a thing?!"

The illustration being that we are all like that man on the corner -- we are
defective & know it not, but when the Healer lifts us up & removes the
'tumour'(sin) we are as new.

These alcoholics are like the man on the corner, not knowing they are
defective, not truly comprehending a different situation to live in.

The only true help, IMO, is for those with lived experience to reach out to
them & befriend them; It's a far longer & slower process than {pharmaceutical
corps & Government like, but it's what is proven to work best.


 >   Never mind color...especially with the technicolor yawn (vomiting). I
 > know that rats can't vomit, and there's another creature that can't, but
 > it escapes me which one it is. I want to say it's horses, but I'm not 
sure.

Squirreels, rats, breavers, all t he rodents, actually.

Frogs don't vomit as we think of it - they pull their stomach out their 
mouth, inside-out & use their front paws to push the offending material off 
of it.

 >  GP> Q: What do designer jeans and cheap hotels have in common?
 >  GP> A: No ballroom.

 >   LOL. You got that right!! 

Yup, I've BTDT, long ago now; skinny jeans now wouldn't even cover one leg!

 >   I still love the old cartoon from "The Far Side". This guy is coming
 > out of the bathroom in this restaurant/bar...and the lights flash, the
 > sirens go off, etc. -- and the sign screams "DIDN'T WASH HANDS!!" .
 > Folks practicing good personal hygiene would help reduce the spread of
 > disease, or getting sick themselves.

Another story has a priest walking into a bar, just to use the restroom.  The
bartencder says it might not suit the priest as there's a statue art piece of
Adam & Eve, wearing only fig leaves.  The prirest insists, as his bladder was
insisting even more so, & the bartender points the way.

He went into the men's room, bypassed the statue, & took care of business.

He washed his hands, & on his way out, he lifted a fig leaf & peeked.

As heexityed the washroom, he noticed the bar, which had quieted on his
entrance, was now loud  & boisterous with loud music & dancing.

He asked the bartender about that & the bartender explained that the fig
leaves are attacged to a light above the door, & now everyone knows the 
priest is just like one of them!

something-something be not self-righteous. something-something for all have
sinned & fall short something-something.

I had a nice lady approach me at a new church(holy rolers) I was visiting 
with a friend. She asaked if she could pray for me(& my pastalysis); I 
thanked her kindly, expecting she'd kneel by her bed that night & mention me.
Nope! She placed a hand on my shoulder & began proclaiming loudly(so all 
would see how holy she was, I assumed) & askred thast I be healed.

I thabnked her & thought notyhing more on it.

Next Sunsay my freiend brought me again & she came right up to me, mad as a
frog with a merely water-resistent rectal orifice! She lit into me & began
berating me for my lack of faith.

I dopn't axccept falsd accusations, so I let here spit out some more rage
before talking to her slowly & lowly(a warning to the smart people!): 
"Listen, sister, if you truly believe(I ignored her sputtering over this
comment & implied insult) then I would have been healed. Do recall that Jesus
berated his disciple for HIS unbelief & said, "when you pray, believing it
will be done, it WILL be done."; you, my dear, pretended to pray for me, to
get my hopes up & destroy my chance of gaining faith & healing.  Next time 
you pray, go to your CLOSET!"; I wasn't angry, only sad, but I let her think 
I was angry, as it underlined 'my' message better.

I doubt she ever pulled that plastic piety crap on anyone else ever again, &
anyone who witnessed us would be careful in the future, too!

I dis like falsehoods,. even when unintentional. I believe she felt she was
doing right, but just lacked the fullest understanding that constant 
rereading helps offset. . .

I wasn't better than her; I was just blessed with a stronG ABILITY TO READ,
RESEARCH, & UNDERSTAND. . . oops, sorry for caps. . .

*holds up Bible* the truth is in here. *walks off with X-Files outro music
playing*

ObHumour, of course, gotta stay on topic. . . :D
[Yes, even the moderator follows the rules!]

I went to a faith healing session at the local community centre last night 
but it was absolute rubbish.
Even the fella in the wheelchair was so disgusted by the performance, he got
up and walked out.

Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well.
Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately.

Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news.

Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine,
faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never
failed me. Now will you do things my way or do I need to see the manager?!?

Doctor: Sure, we’ll do things your way. No need to raise your temper. Why
don’t we try an astrology based approach?

Karen: At last a sensible approach.

Doctor: So, what’s your star sign?

Karen: it’s cancer.

Doctor: Well, well, what a flipping coincidence!



 >  GP> Q: what is the medical term for a pair of jeans?
 >  GP> A: duodenum (duo denim)

 >   That was a throaty response. 

 > Daryl

 > ... Error 63 - Can't locate coffee!! Operator Halted.
 > === MultiMail/Win v0.52
 > --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux