Kurt,

 KW> Diapers!

 KW> You have to change those kid's diapers EVERY DAY!

  Some more than once a day.

 KW> And when they say 8-10 pounds on them, they won't hold ONE MORE OUNCE
 KW> THAN THAT!

 KW> --paraphrased from Jeff Foxworthy's stand-up routine...

  Tell that to the blonde who still doesn't believe it. 

  I ran across a funny female ventriloquist on YouTube...Nina Conti, with
her "ornery monkey". Her language can be as strong as fellow ventriloquist
Jeff Dunham at times, but the stuff is funny.

  There was one where the monkey "hypnotized" her, and he said "if you
can hear, raise your finger"...and after a short pause, the monkey growls
"NOT ON THAT HAND, YOU IDIOT!!" 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbd0FcnFfO0

  Another video, she got pulled over by a police officer for talking on
her cellphone, and the monkey cussed out the constabulary. :P

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flofrPOSX_Q

  And, when she was on the Craig Ferguson show...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flofrPOSX_Q

  Then, where she had a challenge to "keep the monkey on her hand"
for 6 weeks. If she succeeds, she wins a million dollars to donate
to the charity of her choice. Otherwise, she forfeits the money.
It was extremely stressful for all involved. I don't know if she
made it for the 6 weeks or not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIWf3pLmb_s

Daryl

... Veni, Veci, Wee Wee - I came, I saw, I have to go potty.
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