George,

 GP> Yet you said you order it as a Salty Dog?

  There's a line dance known as the "Salty Dog Rag"...not sure where it got
its name.

 GP> I'm not a fan of gin. . . I like my whiskeys ('most any kind -- each
 GP> has their subtleties); I no longer drink it by the bottle (fifth as you
 GP> call them; two-sixer as we call them);

  It reminds me of a joke where a guy goes into a bar, and asks if they
have any gin. He's told "Only oxygen and nitrogen". 

 GP> My rule was alwaysd to keep the liquor neat & I never got sick (that &
 GP> I'd drink a lite of water before going to bed); 54 years old & never
 GP> been hung over, even though I used to drink a LOT!

  My late wife would have a "Rum And Coke" on rare occasions when she felt
"puny". It was 1% Jamaican White Rum, and 99% Coca-Cola. It'd knock her
out (she was also narcoleptic and diabetic), but she was fine the next
morning. That was the ONLY alcoholic beverage she'd drink...and after
losing a close friend in college to a drunk driver, I was content with
that.

  On another note, she got me partial to dachshunds. Now, for any dogs,
you do NOT give them chocolate...especially "bakers chocolate", as it's
poison to them, and it'd kill them. However, you CAN give them things
like green beans and carrots. For dachshunds, they think the beans are
a treat, and it helps them lose weight. This couple friend of mine (who
are "living together"), have a dachshund with "a broad butt". 

  Anyway, my wife put some green beans in a bowl, and set them on the 
floor. The dog walked up to them, sniffed them, turned up his nose, and
walked off!! She lamented "Oh, great!! I forgot to salt them!!".
Incredulous, I asked "What??!! Does he want a bottle of red wine to go
with his beans??!!"...and she growled "He ain't gettin' none of my
Jamaican White Rum". I thought "Oh, brother". :P

  One day, just for grins, we stopped by an area liquor store (she was
running low on her one bottle of Jamaican White Run), and we about
flipped on the price. I asked her Dad why the price was so high (he
and her late Mom were originally from Jamaica), and he said one word:

  "Imported".

  It made perfect sense.

 GP> If someone insisted I should mix my whiskey (healthier on the stomachg,
 GP> lasts longer, whatever lame excuse) I'd say "Point the bottle at the
 GP> tap & introduce themn, then pour me 5 or 6 fingers in a rock glass,
 GP> neat, & I'm good.

  I believe that the Apostle Paul told Timothy in the New Testament that
"a little wine is good for the stomach". But, he also noted "Don't be
drunk with wine, for it's an excess...but be filled with the Holy Spirit".
Ironically, if I remember right, Foster Brooks played a drunk character,
but he actually never touched alcoholic beverages. He was one of the
characters in the movie "The Villain", with Kirk Douglas, Ann Margaret,
Arnold Schwarzenagger, Paul Lynde, and Mel Tillis, among others. Kirk
Douglas was the human epitome of Wile E. Coyote. 

 GP> Then he asked if I'd like a beer or soda as a chaser.  I sighed loudly
 GP> & repeated myself (I hate doing that), really hitting the "neat" part;
 GP> a waitress saved him & said it was my usual.

  I thought about going into a restaurant, and saying "the usual". But,
one can easily get burned out from eating the same thing day after day.

  However, right now, I can't afford to be eating out every day of the
week, as my brother is doing (I don't know where he's getting the money).
While I prefer to eat at home, I eat on the cheap...chicken nuggets,
lunch meat sandwiches, and diet green tea citrus. However, I'm starting
to get burned out on all that, so I'm just eating one meal a day...never
mind that most days, I don't have much of an appetite. I eat my big
meal at lunch, and I'm good until the next day. I started that when I
became caregiver for my Mom (who passed away nearly 2 years ago), and
never got out of it.

 GP> Bud and Jim were a couple of Newfie drinking buddies who worked as
 GP> airplane mechanics in Gander, NFLD. One day the airport was fogged in
 GP> and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

 GP> Bud said, "Man,I wish we had something to drink!"

 GP> Jim says "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get
 GP> buzz. You wanna try it?"

 GP> So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and
 GP> get completely smashed.

 GP> The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In
 GP> fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!

 GP> Then the phone rings... It's Jim.

 GP> Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"

 GP> Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"

 GP> Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"

 GP> Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff no hangover, nothing. We
 GP> ought to do this more often."

 GP> Jim says, "Yeah, well there's just one thing... Have you farted yet?"

 GP> "No.....

 GP> "Well, DON'T. I'm in Yorkton". (Note: Yorkton is in Saskatchewan!)

 GP> to translate for my America friends. . .

 GP> * A Newfie is your hillbilly.
 GP> * Newfoundland is Maine
 GP> * Yorkton is Houston.

  So much for jet lag...that was one heck of a tail wind. 

Daryl
  
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