George,

 GP> In return, if there's a tywonk on their BBS & I identify him/her, I
 GP> expect the systop to boot them; if the sysop refuses, I ask the next
 GP> host up to cut off that BBS, & so on up the chain of Fido command (I
 GP> used to know 1:1/1 here in BC, before he died!)

  I liked the documentation with my former BBS software, GT Power. In a
file "TRASHCAN.BBS", the original author, Paul Meiners, noted "This file
will test your creativity ". All the dirty words went in there,
and if I caller tried to logon with one of these, they got dumped.

  Restricted Access is basically one level above banishment.

 GP> Rule #1: Don't be a jackass
 GP> Rule #2: See Rule #1

  Rule 1 is also "The Boss (or Spouse or Significant Other) is always right".

 GP> Oh, we didn't do it out of rumour that they were bad -- they
 GP> demonstrated it & refused to comply with Fidonet rules & moderator
 GP> directives.  We were eyewitnesses o the problem, so good riddance to
 GP> bad rubbish & the echo ramn nicely for mamny years after (35 years
 GP> later & still going here in FUNNY Jokes and Stories!)

  I'm not the only BBS around...folks don't have to logon if they don't
want to.

 GP> Don't be the tallest thing in your vicinity & you'll be fine to avoid
 GP> direct hits?

  That's not always the case.

 GP> How3 ios it possible? You like standing in boats in the centre of
 GP> lakes? Or standing alone in a large flat field?

  Both were in Hialeah, Florida, just northwest of Miami.

1) I was 3 years old, on the couch in the living room, with my hands
on the metal frame of a big plate glass window in the front room,
watching lightning dance across the sky from a thunderstorm in the
area (I thought "this is cool!"). We had coconut trees in the front
yard, and one of the fronds was on the house. Lightning hit the tree,
and with moisture around the metal frame, where my hands were, the
combination of the flash and the shock, made me start screaming bloody
murder. It blew tiles off the bathroom wall, sent sparks out the back
of the house, and the neighbor across the street said "it looked like
the house was encased in a ball of fire". My Dad called the Fire
Department to come out and check things. For 10 years afterwards, you
could not take a flash picture of me, as I'd scream in terror from the
flashback (pun intended).

2) I was 16 years old, and had just finished delivering an afternoon
newspaper route, in a tropical thunderstorm. It was like taking a
shower with my clothes on. I got home, looking like a drowned rat;
closed the garage door, parked the bicycle, and went to strip out
of my wet clothes, so I wouldn't get chilled. When my wet hand touched
the washing machine (to balance myself), lightning hit the house
again.

  However, I carry no electrical charge, and can be handled safely.

 > ... Deliver a pizza? Whoever heard of a liver pizza?

 GP> Oh, if there's liver on a pizza, I won't even attempt to de-liver it,
 GP> I'm just tossing it in the garbage!

  Same here. Some things don't belong on a pizza.

 GP> They accidentally delivered a pizza missing the sauce, toppings, &
 GP> cheese to Homer Simpson, who took one look at it & exclaimied "Dough!"

  Or when a certain treat was made, a guy stuck his finger into the
batter, and was told "Get your finger out of the dough, nut!!". 

 GP> I accidentally burned my Hawaiian pizza.
 GP> Should have used aloha temperature.

  That was a real pain in the grass, skirting the issue.

Daryl

... If Barbie's so popular, why must you buy her friends??
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