>   I don't think I had a male teacher (except for physical education) until
 > high school.

My elementary school expwerimented with a quasi middle school, as a prep gfor
high school -- the 3 classes (5-7) had a focuds subjcect each & a teacher who
tauight that subjerct for all 3 (grade 5 was the male principal, for Socials,
grtade 6 was a weird man who was into science, 7 was a very nice lady into
english/literature.  Grade 5 regular teacher was a woman into creative 
writing -- I loved her & it went both ways -- academically speaking only, of
course)

In grade 5 we had to do a presentation project; I took earthworms & created a
full displsay including storyboards & blown up scale samples.  In grade 7, to
keep my challenged, I was given the top 6 grade 4s to teach a class on
science(earthwoprms); I had full carte blanche over curriculum & marking -- 
my grade would become part of their grade 4 reppoirt card!

Oh, it was FUN! The boys' favorite part was the dissections; guess what was
the girls' least favorite part of the 4-month onxce-weekly course?

I graded classwork, essays, & exams, all of which I prepared & presented just
like a real teacher (I likely didn't get paid too much less(at $0) than real
teachers!)

 >   Everyone...humans and animals...have selected hearing. When your spouse
 > or significant other wants you to do something...or you yell a command to
 > your dog or cat. When you mention "a treat", they come running. 

More that our hearing is imperfect but high emotion keywords(like our own
name) stand out.

I don't pretend bnot to hear sometghing just because I don't want to
acknowledge the speaker/topic, because that, to me, is dishonest, & I'm going
the other way with my life now.

 >  GP> My dad taught me that the only real authority is God & He grants some
 >  GP> of His to parents, who grant an even more limited authority, through
 >  GP> democracy, to government, judges, & cops doing their job(an important
 >  GP> qualifier); I teach my son the same.

 >   True. He's The One Who Made The Rules, and so many in the world today
 > have a conniption (sp?) fit with that. Well, on Judgment Day, Perry Mason
 > won't be able to help these folks. 

True dat! I picture the traditional scales of justice withg two categories
filing up as the story of one's life scrolls past:
L) making the world a worse place for others.
R) making the world a better place for others.

The laws & rules are given to us that we may LIVE!!!

My dad, in teaching me, with belt as needed, to respect his aithority
permitted me to live -- else I'd've been like most of my peers -- dead by cop
or involvement in bad things/people.  Yup, the rules are so we may LIVE, &
live abundantly!

I don't truy to live a champagne & caviar lifestyle on my Beer & Hamburger
budgfet, but I do look ast my beer & hamburger & thank God for allowing me to
live so richly!  I wouldn't trade it for any of Robin Leach's rich showcase's
life!

I am rich! (techn ically, "wealthy" but I like that just fine)

When the US first conceptualized the $100 bill they were thinking of putting
the face of Jesus, as his ability to come back to life was greater than any
wealth.
It would've been the '1 undead dollar' bill.

A genie granted me one wish. I wanted to be rich, but didn't want to deal 
with the IRS and decided I wanted wealth as I needed it. So I wished for the
touch of Midas.
After that, everything I touched turned into a muffler.

Genies are Monkey's Paw-type jerks!

I found pictures of Mt. Rushmore before it was carved
Its natural beauty was unpresidented

There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a
monarchy...
Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all
the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to
make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have
the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small 
state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of
the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to
process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one
option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make
lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest
quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of
craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these
terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade
entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable
they are.

The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace 
can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of
their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the
king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the
likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as
to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to
produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his
lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous
applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking
announcement.

"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"

When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.

"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over
you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you
do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone
who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as
my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me
unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will 
present you this token of good faith."

The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they
held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became 
a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it could speak
plainly to their ruler.

It was the "don't believe me just" watch.




 >  GP> Claiming to know better & have more authority than God never ends 
well
 >  GP> (ask Nebuchadnezzar & John Lennon)

 >   In the comic strip Crock, they noted this Sphinx like structure, they
 > called Ne-boo-kon-eezer.  It was centered around a Foreign Legion post,
 > and one day, the commander was coming around, apparently in repentant 
tears,
 > apologizing for all the mean things he had done, and that he'd change his
 > ways. In the last frame, the chef says "No soup for a week...someone stole
 > all of our onions". 

 >  GP> I'm a hypocrit, of course, as I'm human -- I'm definitely obese; by 
the
 >  GP> grace of God I'm not yet diabetic, but I'm well aware of the dangers
 >  GP> there.

 >   Same here. But, I believe in the balanced diet...in the belly and in the
 > butt cheeks.  My favorite on that is from a skit the late Red Skelton
 > told...I may have shared this before, but it's still funny.

 >   He said that one day, his wife was telling him was getting "a bit round
 > around the edges", and she admonished him "if you don't lose weight, I'm
 > going to make you wear one of my girdles".

 >   Admidst audience laughter, Red lamented "I know what you dear ladies go
 > through". He said his wife didn't say anything else to him...and he walked
 > into the bathroom, and found this thing on the door.

 >   He goes into this pantomime about putting it on like a diaper. He is
 > sweating like a horse under the hot stage lights, and the entire audience
 > is roaring in laughter. His wife walks in and demands "What in the world
 > are you doing??!!". Out of breath, he says "OK, honey. You win. I'll lose
 > weight"...and she screams "You take off my hot water bottle!!" .

 >  GP> I'm trying to bring it down, even if only to make climbing the stairs
 >  GP> not so near to a life or death activity. . .

 >   I hate steps and stairs. Those on the Amtrak Superliners are very narrow
 > and hard to get up and down.

 >  GP> My wife & I agree: we don't want her collercting on the life 
insurance
 >  GP> quite yet . . . (she SAYS so, but. . . *LOL* J/King)

 >   Be glad she didn't read that. 

 >  GP> Not for me -- I prefer real, fresh caught, wild Pacific Sockeye 
salmon,
 >  GP> when I can find some affordably. & I just don't eat peas.

 >   I prefer the English peas...and have some microwave peas and carrots in
 > the freezer, along with some chicken nuggets. I might make that for lunch
 > today or dinner tonight...and take a break from lunch meat sandwiches. I'm
 > staying at home, and not going out, unless I have to. If there's "junk 
mail"
 > in the Post Office Box, I let it sit there.

 >  GP> I've been known to say, "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as 
good
 >  GP> once as I ever was."

 >   You've heard the song, then. 

 >  GP> Like the difference between Fear & Panic, for men:

 >  GP> FEAR: first time you can't do it a second time.
 >  GP> PANIC: second time you can't do it a first time.

 >   Really.

 >  GP> I'm talking semi trucks, with fully loaded trailers.

 >   I heard of a truck hauling things like spaghetti, lasgna, etc. It got
 > stuck on a railroad crossing, and got T-boned by a train, scattering
 > the cargo everywhere. The meme noted "Garfield is livid with rage". 

 >  GP> My brother was crossing in a city intersection on the green when he 
got
 >  GP> t- boned by a full garbage truck coming down a long steep hill at 
full
 >  GP> speed, no brakes.

 >   Bummer.

 >  GP> It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

 >   There was a carjacking incident here recently. The thug forced the 
driver
 > out of the car at an intersection (the thug had a gun), so the driver
 > complied. But, the driver had the last laugh...the car was not automatic
 > transmission, but manual (stick-shift). After only a couple of blocks, the
 > thug stopped the car, got out, and ran off. The driver called the police
 > to report it, so they could get fingerprints, etc. -- then, he got in the
 > car and drove away. 

 >   There is a move in square dancing (one of my other hobbies) called "Slip
 > The Clutch". It basically means drop your hands with the dancer you have a
 > hold of, and step forward. I thought that's what I'd do to my late 
father's
 > 1963 Volkswagen...I knew how to work it, but never got coordinated enough
 > to do so (shifting gears).

 >  GP> Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much
 >  GP> treble.

 >   Some of these cars have the bass so maxed out, that it shakes their
 > vehicle, and every other vehicle near it...that you'd think an earthquake
 > was in progress.

 >  GP> When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

 >   Tang it!! 

 >  GP> The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know 
how
 >  GP> to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you
 >  GP> can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you 
conduct
 >  GP> these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

 >   But, they are all female, and you better resistor, as the relationship
 > can be shocking. 

 >  GP> The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

 >   Years ago, this ventriloquist had a "dummy" named "Shotgun Red" (I don't
 > remember the name of the ventriloquist. Anyway, I saw him at a show, and 
he
 > said "You know what I think of rap music?? Put a "C" in front of it!!". I
 > couldn't have said it better. I think "is the tribal beat and the constant
 > profanity the only things they understand??". It's as if they want to 
remain
 > uneducated.

 >  GP> Scissors always cut to the point.

 >   That was a very cutting truth, no other way to slice it.

 >  GP> Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you 
don’t
 >  GP> stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When
 >  GP> used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity
 >  GP> and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of
 >  GP> turbulence.

 >   It's not the fall out of a plane, or the plane plunging to the ground
 > that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

 >  GP> When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to
 >  GP> prevent shocking results.

 >   Voltage: How old the electricity in your line is.

 >  GP> Mr. Tea says, "Don’t be a fool, stay in school!"

 >   It reminds me of the sequence from the movie "End Of The Line", filmed
 > back in the 1980's (much of it in Arkansas). The exchange was with the 2
 > grizzled railroaders who had lost their jobs (the son-in-law of the now
 > chairman of the board, was converting the company from railroad to air
 > freight. The son-in-law hated trains...his father-in-law loved them).

 >   Anyway, the exchange went like this:

 > Leo: You know, Haney?? I was taking a shower the other day, and I was
 > trying to remember The Pledge Of Allegiance. You know, the American one??
 > And, hell!! I couldn't get it to come to me.

 > Haney: Well sir, grade school was a long time ago.

 > Leo: Yes, sir. That's what kept me out of high school.

 >   I heard one Arkansas film historian note "you can't get any more
 > Arkansas than that". In fact, the Looney Tunes cartoon, "Hillbilly
 > Hare", had Bugs Bunny in the Arkansas Ozarks...and he ends up 
 > calling a square dance, and has the 2 hillbillies who were after
 > him, to beat the crap out of each other. The director, Chuck Jones,
 > was at one time, a square dance caller, and he was also the Grand
 > Marshall at the first National Square Dance Convention in Riverside,
 > California in 1951.

 > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9SrXRNPRCA

 >   (Lyrics included in case it's hard to understand).

 >  GP> i c e i c e w a t e r

 >   "I don't drink water. Fish [have sex] in it". - W.C. Fields

 >  GP> I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw
 >  GP> the line.

 >   Algebra is what the little mermaid wears.

 >  GP> Plants should always rooted in the ground.

 >   Just don't have a dachshund did the hole for you...he'll make it
 > too big.

 >  GP> Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left
 >  GP> hanging out with you.

 >   So many feel that:

 > 1) I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
 > 2) I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
 > 3) I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

 >  GP> Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged.
 >  GP> Don’t take these puns for granite.

 >   You have a stoned personality.

 >  GP> Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to 
use
 >  GP> them.

 >   It's not easy being Cheesy...just ask Chester Cheetah. :P

 >  GP> Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of 
their
 >  GP> history chills my spine.

 >   If they sit on the ice too long, they get Polaroids.

 >  GP> My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

 >   I've got a rock garden. Last week, 3 of them died.

 >  GP> I am not a fan of wind turbines.

 >   You can get blown away otherwise.

 >  GP> Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

 >   I've got a big piece of driftwood in the living room above the
 > piano. I haven't played it in years, and I'm sure it's out of tune.

 >  GP> Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

 >   That's for sure...then, it takes forever to find the bad bulb.

 >  GP> Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

 >   Just don't air your dirty Lenin in public.  

 >  GP> Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

 >   Then, it's not rocket science.

 >  GP> A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

 >   That's because they knead the dough.

 >  GP> I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

 > Ted: I keep seeing spots before my eyes.
 > Red: Have you seen a doctor??
 > Ted: No, just spots.

 >  GP> Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

 >   For a real sponge cake, borrow all the ingredients.

 >  GP> Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

 >   Too many of them are shipwrecked by the simplest things.

 > Daryl

 > ... To the guy who invented zero: Thanks for nothing
 > === MultiMail/Win v0.52
 > --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux