George,

 GP> You'd prolly have to explain it to me, too. . .  ;)

  It's on the BBS computer on the LAN...I was reworking the file areas.

 GP> Another sign:
 GP> Ladies: Please stay eated during the entire poerformance.

  I hope you meant "stay seated".

 GP> Men: Stand close, t's shorter than you think.

  I hope you meant "it's shorter than you think".

  Or like the guy who had his lady friend's name tattooed on his
member, but at first, all you saw was W and Y -- for Wendy. Well,
another guy had the same deal, but it was "Welcome To Jamaica.
Have A Nice Day". :P Considering what one has to go through for
a tattoo, I've got better things to spend my money on.

 GP> If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie & wipe the seatie.

  Exactly.

 GP> Now he common sign is "Do not put anything but tissue into the toilet"

 GP> Okay, so where do I put the reason I need to sit down, once produced?

  You'd be surprised at the stuff people try to put down the toilet.

 GP> good old Carlin(RIP), one of my all-time favorites -- he was funny AND
 GP> thought-provoking AND intelligent/witty.

  Never mind the 7 dirty words.

 GP> * Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them
 GP> are stupider than that.

  On my train of thought, 95% are riding for half fare.

 GP> * The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers
 GP> I accept.

  I talk to myself when I need expert advice.

 GP> * Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up
 GP> on the roof and gets stuck.

  I've seen a variant of that in a QWK Mail tagline.

 GP> RIP, Georgie, you were one of the good ones!

  I wish many of the comedians nowadays hadn't gotten so raunchy with
their material. The long gone comedians of Red Skelton, Jack Benny,
George Burns, Groucho Marx, and many others...proved that you don't
have to be dirty or vulgar to be funny.

  Along that line, ventriloquist Jeff Dunham got pretty raunchy at
times, because "it was an economical issue". Well, I know that two
other ventriloquists, Todd Oliver and Darci Lynn Farmer, have G rated
shows.

 GP> The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a
 GP> courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not
 GP> commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of
 GP> lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work
 GP> environment. --20th c. Philosopher G. Carlin

  He hit the nail on the head.

Daryl

... What you think of me is none of my business.
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