Ya know we had this chat before. And yes I DO know the answer but
still it puzzles me. Why is it people don't STOP AND THINK at all
before they make as stupid remark? I mean the stupidness just comes
right on out like bad breath.

IE: A perfectly intelligent, friendly, social acquaintance remarks
to a deaf person  (writes a note): "It must be hard. You miss all the
nuances ....." (It must be hard is where they should have stopped.)

What to do? Do you look at this person smiling down the urge to
scream, and say, "yes that is true. We learn to compensate however by
studying body language." OR perhaps this AFTER you let them have it.

Or just let 'em have it; the truth: Eye to eye, say as softly
and politely as you can bear to muster:

"Do... you.... ever..... stop..... and.... think... whether or not the
once hearing, now deaf person you are making that understatement of the
century to .... might be FULLY AWARE of what they're missing already
and maybe just maybe, they don't want or NEED to be REMINDED??"
                                                     
Maintain eye contact while they get all flustery and blustery, 'well..
I... I... I..... I.... " to which you must (!) comfort them as though
their being upset was YOUR fault: "it's alright everybody says
something like you did now and then. Just remember people with disabilities
learn to COMPENSATE....


Funny how this always goes though. It's the disabled who have to comfort
those who insult them. Sigh. Ya wonder whose got the real disability here...
maybe the abled do- between the ears.
                  

Perhaps my TRUTH telling would be doing a favor for this person so they
might not say something stupid the next time to someone who is latent
disabled? Or would it be rude to be honest as seems to be the case in
our society.
           
What do you think?

Cinders




... It's easier to curse the candle than light the darkness.

--- PPoint 3.01