George,

 GP> Akk I want is a bushel of apples & a few hours alone with the doctor's
 GP> daughter!

  Never mind taking a turn for the nurse.

 >   That's the tagline I sent, and the late Nancy Backus (I miss her),
 > said "that explains a lot ". She said afterwards "I hope you
 > know I was joking", and I said "I got a good laugh out of it".

 GP> Of course! Give & take is fun!

  When I know someone real well...even just good friends, the banter
between us is hilarious.

 GP> But howe many more than you really needed did you buy then?

  I have no clue. I moved out before I got married in 2003. My late
wife referred to toilet paper as "Bun Wad" or BW.  So, we'd go
shopping for BW instead of TP. 

 >  GP> A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

 >   A data late, and a duller short.

 GP> Or a dullard. . .

   That, too.

 >  GP> My IQ test result just came in and I’m really relieved!

 >   Made you pee all over the floor, eh?? Or, you were so happy, you
 > could just [poop]??!! 

 GP> Either way. . . it's all good now!

  Just don't do the slip and slide. :P

 GP> I had an aneurysm burst & a stroke that mostly paralyzed my left
 GP> side(true story, not funny in itself)), but I'm all right now!

  My Mom's late brother died of an aneurysm.

 GP> Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
 GP> A: Finding half a worm.

  The bird probably ate the first half as an appetizer.

 GP> Q: What’s a doctor who studies adam’s apples called?
 GP> A: A guy-neck-ologist

  The bones in my neck are so kinked, and the pain is really bothering
me...basically a wide area of pinched nerves.

 GP> It’s illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice
 GP> Because that would be in cider trading

  I love chilled apple juice, but it's like prune juice to me. :P

 GP> Q: What’s the worst part of having an apple addiction?
 GP> A: You can’t see the doctor about it.

  I thought that's what students gave to teachers.

 GP> Q: What is it called when a Samsung and an Apple mate?
 GP> A: A Sample

  The doctor wanted this old man to provide a urine sample, a stool
sample, and a semen sample. The old man didn't hear what the doctor
said, and his wife said "he wants to see your underwear". :P

 GP> Never fart in an apple store
 GP> They don't have windows

  Failure is not an option...it comes shipped with Windows.

 GP> Everyone knows where the Big Apple is...
 GP> But do you know where the Minneapolis?

  In the small drink of Mini Soda. 

 GP> Apple's new Bluetooth accessory: the iTanic...
 GP> ....is guaranteed to sync.

  Especially if you're eating iceberg lettuce...which is the only lettuce
I can eat.

Daryl

... Got Kleptomania?? Take something for it.
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